Category: Film Reviews

Reviews of films past and present.

Argylle (2024) The Long Kiss Goodnight Revisited?

Argylle (2024) A Long Kiss Goodnight Revisited?

Argylle (2024) seems a lot like The Long Kiss Goodnight revisited (1996). This latest offering from Matthew Vaughn, (Kick-Ass, Layer Cake, Kingsman: The Secret Service) felt overly familiar from the get go. It seems that a lot of other films crop up in this film somewhere.

For a start, there was the female writer of adventure stories, aka spy novels. Then Romancing the Stone (1984) overtures with more than a hint of The Lost City (2022) with Sandra Bullock playing the author. There were also those writer interactions with the scenes recently written. The newly created characters speaking to their creator and so on. Nice gimmick, funny and nice to look at but…It has been done at least once before.

Hollywood being the prince of “imitation is the best form of box office success” movie making style is well known for “borrowing” from other films. Plots appear regularly from other and older movies. We refrained from saying better as this is not always the case. Let’s face it The Lost City was just not that good.

It also feels a little like a mash up of Bullet Train (2022) and even, we hesitate to say it, just a bit like Ghosted (2023). *It should be pointed out that neither of these latter films share huge amounts of plot line. They just feel like ethereal relatives.*

Vaughn, however, has a proven track record. Out of the nine films he has directed, only Argylle has been what could be considered a misstep. As a producer, however, his reputation is not as spotless. Kick-Ass 2 for example, was excruciating to watch.

It Ain’t Bad

But honey, it is not real good either. Overall, it should have rocked that casbah. Top names, a great duo; Rockwell and Howard and an interesting plot. However all these separate parts do not add up.

The cat; Alfie seems to get lost midway through the film. This could be down to the teasers about Argylle that ran regularly before its release, it seemed that the cat was going to play a much larger role in the proceedings.

The film is fun. Sam Rockwell and Bryce Dallas Howard make a brilliant odd couple. Casting in this one was pretty much spot on. There is a chemistry between the two leads. We do have to admit, Rockwell has been a favourite since Galaxy Quest; “You have a last name Guy. I do? I do?” This was classic comedy delivered so adeptly it was beautiful.

Other characters, aside from Samuel L Jackson who could have used a lot more screen time, were well presented. Cranston, as usual, knocks his role out of the park.

Things in common

In The Long Kiss Goodnight, Geena Davis plays an amnesia sufferer who has not one clue about who she is or what her part in this world consists of. The opening of the movie has her character trying out different “roles” she may have played before losing her memory.

This kitchen scene is pure poetry. It is funny until it isn’t. Davis plays this whole thing out beautifully:

The Long Kiss Goodnight property of New Line Cinema. Video courtesy of Marty Wyatt YouTube

Elly, on the other hand, just does not remember being a spy.

While both characters share an amnesia issue, Elly has no back story here. No really good reason that she could have forgotten her past. The journey she undertakes with Aidan is not overly funny. Their trip down memory lane is more clever than amusing.

to-may-toe not to-mah-toe

Part of the problem here could be the marriage of American Writer and English Director. Jason Fuchs and Vaughn may have had issues making the two worlds meet. Or, it could well be that there are a lot of movies out there at the moment that feel, for lack of a better word, repetitive. At the very least, overly familiar.

This may not be an issue of to-mah-toe vs to-may-toe at all. Just a case of Hollywood studios running out of original material. Although it seems like Vaughn will be making another of these Argylle spy films later on.

stand out moments

John Cena’s character grabbing Dua Lipa’s fleeing spy off the back of a racing moped.

Cranston’s moment with Clementine.

The whirlybird moments.

Samuel L Jackson.

Alfie going off the roof.

Henry Cavill.

in conclusion

Argylle is fun but not worth the current price of “admission ” $25 to purchase or 20 to rent. It is a Matthew Vaughn film though, so it does entertain. We have given this one a 3.5 star rating (Out of a possible 5.) Have a look at the trailer and see if it is worth waiting for. It made us think of The Long Kiss Goodnight revisited, but that is not necessarily a bad thing.

Barbie (2023) Pinocchio in a Skirt?

Barbie (2023) Pinocchio in a skirt?

We may well be the only site in the world not overly enamored with the new Barbie (2023). To be blunt, it seems a lot like Pinocchio in a skirt. Apologies in advance to Greta Gerwig, Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling for not getting it. Perhaps being an old white dude, just over 65, who remembers all too well, being forced to play “dolls” with all female cousins. Let’s face it, there is not too much to do as Ken in that plastic world.

Just as there was not a whole lot for Gosling’s Ken to bring to the table here. To be fair to the wooden boy we have compared this film to, the animated version and not the remake with the ubiquitous Tom Hanks as Geppetto, Barbie never voices her true wish to be a real “girl.” Whereas all the stringless puppet wants is to be a real boy

Although to be fair, towards the end of the movie where she “becomes” human, we were drifting off a bit. She could very well have clicked her heels together and said “I want to be a real girl.”

thelma & louise

Ken and Barbie doing a “Thelma & Louise.”

We really expected to at least like the film. The cast included a number of “names” on offer, up to and including John Cena as a Ken “merman.” There were bits that wore priceless. Barbie (Robbie) telling the old lady at the bus stop, complete with swollen joints and a lot of wrinkles, that she was beautiful was a special moment. The old gal agrees that she is indeed a beauty. A touching moment in a film about plastic toys.

Toy story it ain’t

Barbie is not a heartwarming and touching story about toys that have lost their owner. *Yes we are alluding to Toy Story here with Tom Hanks as Woody. Did we not just label the actor as being ubiquitous. We rest our case.*

Some of the movie just does not work. For all the hype about Barbie and the points it was scoring in a misogynistic world, the inclusion of a “woke” Will Ferrell who feels he has to put the world back in sync, was a step too far.

There were bits that were spot on: Barbie taking off her heels and those heels never touching the ground. That comes later. The shower with no running water. No tea, or coffee, in those Barbie cups. Plastic food and so on. That was clever, just not enough to push this cinematic tale onto the top shelf.

Michael Cera as Allan was funny to a point. Barbie does manage to bring up Midge, the pregnant doll who gives birth to her own baby. Mattel offered up this single mom doll in 2002. Negative publicity and moral outrage was the flavor of the day back then. Especially from the Bible belt of America.

Midge is featured in a blink and you’ll miss it cameo, of sorts. There is no real chance of moral outrage here. Times, they are a changin’ and single mothers are acceptable now. All the better to be completely empowered. Cynical attitudes aside, the film tries hard to not really offend anyone.

It’s not all about the plumbing

The nastiest thing that Barbie has to say about her unrequited male counterpart is that he has no penis. Ken, on the other hand, is a gentleman and does not bring up any additional details about his “girlfriend’s” anatomy.

Barbie has musical numbers and as a fantasy certainly is not as bad as it could have been. Rotten Tomatoes gives the movie a whopping 88%. A full 5% over the audience score. The movie is apparently meta and subversive. To us, this feels a tad like The Emperor’s New Clothes. Folks are seeing what they want to see.

This is not about the plumbing or lack thereof. It is about plastic and unrealistic dolls emulating life as we see it.

Barbie is streaming on Max at the moment. Head on over and see what you see…

Road House (2024) Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Road House (2024) Where Everybody Knows Your Name

Road House (2024) feels a tad like Cheers, “Where Everybody Knows Your Name.” This tepid reimagining of the iconic 1989 Patrick Swayze vehicle, which also benefitted greatly by having Sam Elliot, sans mustache, was hated by most film critics back in the day. Audiences, however, adored the movie.

Sadly, Elliot is too long in the tooth to play bouncer types, but his presence would not have improved upon this overly CG’d offer. Amazon took this project and instantly streamed it on their Prime services. Director Doug Liman puts his cast through their paces and even manages to get an over enthusiastic Conor McGregor to impress in his “introducing” role.

Jake Gyllenhaal plays the Swayze part; Dalton, James one each. An insanely ripped fighter who is relying on his rep to score easy wins in the bare knuckle world of cage fighting. Bar owner Frankie (Jessica Williams) really wants to hire him to clear up her place; The Double Deuce. Daniela Melchior plays the love interest and the local sheriff is played by Mike’s Film Talk favourite Joaquim de Almeida.

Side note: Almeida will probably never beat his over the top drug lord; Bucho, in 1995’s Desperado. But he still commands your attention when he is on screen. Even when his screen time is limited, as it is in Road House as the “Sheriff” he makes you look.

cheers

One amusing part of the new Road House, has Dalton being first amazed and then uncomfortable that everyone knows his name. This “Cheers” touch takes place after he clears out the riff-raff all by himself on the first night.

The 1989 Dalton was a philosopher at heart. This 2024 former UFC fighter, with a dark secret; think The Quiet Man, may well be the most Zen bouncer in history.

tis a western at heart

As some other critic pointed out via a YouTube review, both the 1989 original and this tropical remake, are basically westerns. Even the protagonist’s name, Dalton, is evocative of the old west. We can just imagine Gyllenhaal riding in with his white hat and cleaning up a rough town.

The fight scenes in this new version of Road House look good. However, the information that CG doubles were used for the choreographed punch-ups did not help the remake’s case at all. Sure this may have made the combatants look more real, but, using properly trained stuntmen could have gotten the same effect. Chocolate (2008) was a brilliant Thai martial arts film where everyone made contact and the fight scenes are memorable.

It also bears mentioning that CG was used a lot. Not just in the fight scenes. This move detracts from the films overall effect.

it is worth a look

This version of Road House “ain’t” that bad. Gyllenhaal works hard and the fight scenes between the actor and Knox (Conor McGregor) look good. Although, there is that brag about all those stunt double CG moments.

Check out the trailer and if it piques your interest give it a go. We think it is a solid 3.5 star offering. See what you think.

Millie Bobby Brown Ready to leave Stranger Things but Takes Giant Step Back in Netflix Film Damsel

Millie Bobby Brown Ready to leave Stranger Things but Takes Giant Step Back in Netflix Film Damsel
I have come to kill your monster.
Spoilers

Millie Bobby Brown has been ready to leave the Netflix hit Stranger Things for a few seasons now. She wants to grow up, play more mature parts, et al. But she has taken a giant step back in the film Damsel.

This twisted fairly tale of a film is pretty good overall. A rotten kingdom, who pay human tithes to a fire spewing dragon, have been pulling a nasty trick for some time now. They invite other kingdoms whose coffers are near empty to marry into their prosperous family.

Brown plays Elodie, the eldest girl in Ray Winstone‘s (Lord Bayford) fiefdom AKA the damsel. He reacts with a certain excitement when Queen Isabelle reveals that she wants his daughter Elodie to be the princess to her son’s prince. Elodie’s stepmother, Lady Bayford (Angela Bassett) immediately starts “grooming” the prospective bride on the rules of a royal court.

I have come to kill your monster

It is fitting that Ray Winstone play the father figure in this Young Adult film. He did, after all, play Beowulf in the 2007 film of the same name. Anyone who was actively watching films will remember the advertisement clip: “I am Beowulf and I have come to kill your monster.” *Sidenote: This particular clip of Winstone growling out this line never failed to crease me up. Quite possibly because I’d just watched Sexy Beast. *

At first Elodie is reluctant to consider entering into an arranged marriage. But her poppa relates a few home truths. The entire population under the protection of his Lordship, are hungry. This marriage will align them with Queen Isabelle and fill the royal coffers.

The young damsel realises that she must agree to this union so that her people can be supported. Mum, dad and baby sister all pack their bags and head off to the wedding.

as you wish

Elodie goes along with this setup but not without some reservations. Lady Bayford tells her step daughter it is not too late for the girl to back out. Her father reminds her what is at stake. Elodie agrees to go on and gets thrown into a hole right after the ceremony.

Going any further into this by the numbers damsel in distress feature would mean even more spoilers, so we will stop here.

However.

There is a plot twist, or two, and these do help the drag the film out of the dungeon. Rotten Tomatoes give the film a 55% with the audience score adding a further 10%. We are not quite sure the audience rating is not just because the wildly popular Brown is in the movie.

Millie Bobby Brown has chosen to play her damsel straight as a string. This helps to some extent but this will never be the Princess Bride sans prince. Although in terms of “baddies” Queen Isabelle is really up there with her cold blooded determination to survive at any cost.

damsel in distress

Damsel feels a bit like a failed attempt to let Millie Bobby Brown grow up. Her character goes from new bride to sword wielding badass. But the qualities that make her determined enough to tackle a monster were there already. Her transition then is hardly surprising.

Brown could have made any other film with similar characters and still turn in a decent performance. She convinces as the threatened damsel in distress, just as she convinces as the one girl who can break a pattern of deceit and death.

Netflix

Damsel is streaming on Netflix right now. It is definitely worth a look and Brown fans will not be disappointed. We give it a solid 3 stars, mainly because someone was clever enough to put Winstone in a film about a monster. And someone else was smart enough to put “Buttercup” in a movie where she is a villain.

ThrowbackThursday The Notebook 2004 Review: op/ed

All hail and the 2004 chick flick The Notebook. This soppy tear jerking effort by Jeremy Leven, Jan Sardi, and Nicholas Sparks was directed by Nick Cassavetes. *Nick is the son of Gina Rowlands and the late John Cassavetes.

It is about life

Chick Flick is, perhaps, a misnomer. Although The Notebook is full of tearful moments, this old geezer almost had to pull out the kleenexes, it is more about life. That certain time in life. Oh it is about love, the true and almost smothering kind.

The older couple in the movie, played lovingly and sincerely by James Garner and Gena Rowlands, go through a young couples life. Garner, who never reveals his name to “old”Allie, reads a book. Narrating, if you will, a story that follows an affair of the heart.

The trials and tribulations, the false starts, the decisions and recriminations of that first real love. And as we all know, love and life walk hand in hand. But sometimes that walk is a rocky one. Life does not favour young lovers, but as the old Richard Rogers song Hello Young Lovers (Pick your favorite singer here, I prefer Perry Como but will take Bobby Darin on the fly.) The song is about an older man remembering the flight of love, with all its ups and downs. So perhaps The Notebook is about love after all.

it is all about love

Ryan Gosling was thrust right into star status after this film came out. He had worked in quite a number of features as second banana or bad guy, et al. The Notebook changed all that for the Barbie actor. As Noah in the movie, he is that perfect vision that all girls seem to get breathless over. Slim, muscled yet gentle and this guy can even quote Walt Whitman, extensively. The feeling, as they say, is mutual. Noah falls head over heels in love with:

Allie (Played to giddy perfection by Rachel McAdams.) falls for the “summer vacation romeo.” In a tale as old as life itself, she is the rich girl. Allie falls in love with the boy born on the wrong side of the tracks AKA the poor guy. *Another trope in Chick Flick world, and every romance novel ever written. On a side note: McAdams got her brass ring grab in the Lindsay Lohan vehicle, Mean Girls.

(left to right) James Garner as “Duke” reads the story of two young lovers torn apart to Gena Rowlands (Old Allie) in New Line CinemaÕs romantic drama, The Notebook.

It is spellbinding

The movie, despite being 20 years old, plays well. The late James Garner lends his special gravitas to the proceedings with ease. Rowlands plays “old” Allie to perfection. Putting these two older actors together on screen was what the old timers called “lightning in a bottle.” Just think Fried Green Tomatoes. We will not lie to you here, tears were shed.

The Notebook is streaming on Hulu and Max if you have a subscription. So stop messing around with this new stuff on offer, think of and watch this 2004 effort. Usually we recommend popping a bowl of popcorn before watching a movie. This 5 star effort certainly warrants one. Just be careful, it may become a little soggy.

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