The 2023 film The Retirement Plan is all about a deadly grandad who saves his grown baby girl. And his granddaughter. This bit of Nicolas Cage hokum offers up nothing really new. Sadly, despite a weighted cast list, The Retirement Plan falls that little bit short of cinema nirvana.
The Story
Jim and his wife Ashley, have stolen something belonging to Hector. She sends a plethora of bad men after the two, but Ashley escapes. She send her daughter Sarah to find grandad Matt.
Grandad Matt protects his girls and the hard drive, leaving a path of bodies in his wake.
The Main Cast
The Good Guys
Nicolas Cage is Matt, killer grandad extraordinaire.
Ashley Greene is Matt’s daughter Ashley.
Thalia Campbell is Matt’s granddaughter Sarah.
Ernie Hudson is Joseph.
Lynn Whitfield is Drisdale.
Rick Fox is Christopher
The Bad Guys
Ron Perlman is BoBo; Shakespeare loving muscle of:
Jackie Earle Haley‘s Donnie who works for:
Grace Byers as Hector.
Joel David Moore is snake in the grass Fitzsimmons who is telling Hector everything.
Behind the Scenes
Director Tim Brown writes an almost by the numbers cliche of a film here. The idea of a retired “agent” or assassin has been done before. RED, for example, where all the dangerous people are at least “grandad” age and retired. The Bricklayer, about an “ex” CIA agent, perhaps not retired, but as good as…
This has been done before and done better.
It is as though Brown had a checklist:
1: Grandad is ostracized because his former job kept him away from family life?
Check.
2: Daughter needs dangerous grandad’s help?
Check.
3: Bad guys are pretty inept and not too smart?
Check.
4: Grandad wins back family after slaughtering a slew of bad guys?
Check.
And:
5: Can we get Nic Cage?
Check.
It has to be pointed out though, that young Campbell as Sarah was a real breath of fresh air here. Well done young lady.
Laughing in all the Wrong Places
Giggling at Cage’s wig is not fun for too long, but, there are other chuckles to be had here. The size game for one. The hilarious moment, played incredibly straight, of Jackie Earle Haley standing behind Cage. The man is obliterated by the size and height of the actor he is disabling.
A little later, Grandad Cage is shown to be significantly shorter than Rick Fox. One is not funny without the other. The very fact that we cannot see Haley at all, except for his hand, is hysterically funny. I do not think that Brown intended this to be the case. An inadvertent laugh at best.
Other gags meant to amuse fell slightly flat. Pushing the bad guy over the balcony in the last moments of the film felt off.
The Verdict
The Retirement Plan, despite fall short on the originality stakes, is surprisingly good. It entertains. Mainly because of the cast list. With actors of this calibre, the poor script is easily overlooked. This is a 3.5 star effort.
Barely.
It is streaming on Hulu, or as I like to call it, “The Film Graveyard.”
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