Jimmy Kimmel Live had a brilliant open. Kimmel was on fire as he covered the Dancing With the Stars protest from the day before. Two men and four women come on the stage to complain that Ryan Lochte was a contestant on the show.
Kimmel explained that he knew how the small crowd felt, they wanted the Olympic gold medalist to be punished for his behavior. What the protesters did not understand, according to Jimmy, was that Lochte being on the show was his punishment.
Kimmel went on to ask where these protesters were when Paula Deen was on the show. Footage from the show’s interruption was shown along with Vanilla Ice’s irritation at the people not understanding that Lochte “is an American hero.” (Vanilla Ice may need to look up the definition of hero.)
Patrick Dempsey was on to promote the latest, and hopefully last, in the Bridget Jones franchise; Bridget Jones’s Baby. Eccentric author and doctor Justin Schmidt appeared to plug his latest book and show off a few stinging insects.
Before either guest came on, Jimmy concluded his monologue. The jokes covered overweight soldiers (SEALS can now be called WALR– USES), self driving trolleys (carts) at Walmart and un-deplorable Trump supporters, one of whom came onstage for a free hat.
Drunk Donald Trump was up next, an extra slow version, followed by kids explaining where babies come from. This came up because a report stated that kids hate sex education. Kimmel used emojis to teach sex ed instead of having a class. Very funny, but not quite on par with the kids on the street.
Next up was Dempsey, who entered just after a clip from his upcoming film was shown. He spoke of filming in London and Jimmy tried to get Patrick to admit he was the father.
Things moved on to his family, his boys and girl, and what they thought of the film. Dempsey also talked about being his sons’ soccer coach, kind of, and what sort of coach he is.
They then talked about a photoshopped image and Patrick was finished.
Before Dr. Justin Schmidt brought out his stinging insects Guillermo was sent out as an undercover millennial to teach younger people the importance of health insurance.
The final guest, the doctor from Tucson, Arizona, came out to plug his book and introduce Kimmel to a few of his friends. First, Schmidt brought out two different varieties of ants.
He also had a Tarantula Hawk, a red wasp and a vinegaroon. Schmidt was a crowd pleaser with his “pain index” and his delivery. Jimmy went through some of the pain descriptions with Schmidt. They were very colorful.
Kimmel revealed that he had been attacked by yellow jackets when he was a kid. Schmidt then brought out his bugs.
There was a quiz about which of the insects had stings that were more painful. Jimmy asked his stage manager Alec if he wanted to take part in the insect exhibit. Alec turned down the opportunity as earlier, during rehearsal, the vinegaroon freaked him out.
The episode finished with Tame Impala singing “The Less I Know The Better” from their latest album “But First.”
Jimmy Kimmel Live airs Monday through Friday on ABC.