Mikes Film Talk

As the follow-up to the 2009 film G I Joe: Rise of the Cobra, Retaliation works extremely well. Was the plot daft? Yes. Was the storyline so far removed from reality that it staggered the mind? Again the answer has to be yes. Was it good to see G I Jane(s)? Affirmative. Did the film entertain?

Hell yeah! or in “Joe” parlance Hooah!

Despite getting hammered by critics upon its release, the second G I Joe film was a box office smash with audiences. And how could it not be? Channing Tatum – for the ladies – Dwayne Johnson, Adrianne Palicki, and  Elodie Yung  for the men; and Bruce Willis for both. You also have  Byung-hun Lee  for Korean film fans. But just singling out those individuals is a bit unfair. IMDb calls Retaliation an ensemble piece and it is.

You have  more quality actors per square inch in this film than most Hollywood blockbusters.

Take for example the recent western version of The Odd Couple, The Lone Ranger. You had Johnny Depp and Armie Hammer, but Hammer’s just starting out, really. Depp was the main draw and, okay, Helena Bonham Carter was in a cameo, but still, the big draw was Depp.

With Retaliation you had loads of favourite actors and to choose from. Even good old Jonathan Pryce  got a chance to play himself twice. But I digress, as usual.

The story is that the President sends the Joe’s (and one Jane) to secure some atomic weapons for the USA. They, of course, succeed and while waiting for their taxi home, they get ambushed and pretty much wiped out. Cue a long hot walk in the desert and plans of “retaliation.”

Cobra, it turns out isn’t dead and he’s actually risen again. Big time.

It’s now up to the remaining joe’s and a couple of new recruits to save the world.

Directed by Jon M. Chu who brought us the 2011 documentary Justin Bieber: Never Say Never (huh. And they said he’d never work again, how quickly we forget) from a screenplay by Rhett Reese, Paul Wernick (Zombieland) the film, if nothing else, entertains. Don’t look for much more than stereotypical good guys and villains. But you didn’t really expect Shakespeare in the park did you? “Doth mother know you wear her drapes?” [and anyone who knows what film that reference came from and who said it to “whom” will have my instant admiration…for life]

What the film does  is provide enough action in the form of nicely choreographed fight scenes; a load of shoot-outs – with tanks yet – and Bruce Willis. (Okay, hand held high, I’m a Willis fan-boy.)

But they also rely on the old, bad guys are bad, really bad, so bad that you’ll cheer when that dirty snake-in-the-grass takes a dirt nap at the end of a heroes gun. Well, except for one character and I won’t say any more along those lines or it’ll be spoiler city. What G I Joe: Retaliation does, it does very well and it gives us G I Jane’s that aren’t just pretty to look at, but they’re as tough as nails.

There are enough “cliff-hanging” moments – and if you’ve seen the film, you’ll know what I mean – and even the end of the film with its ludicrous storyline keeps you on the edge of your seat. I really enjoyed the it.

But then, I grew up at a time when G I Joe’s were called dolls (by my father at least) and who refused to buy one because, “I’m not buying a doll for my son!” (on a side note, I saved up birthday money and chore money till I could buy my own) In those days, Joe was huge around 10 or 12 inches tall with movable arms, legs, hands, feet, and a head that would pop off  if you were too robust in your battles.

Time went by and Joe started getting smaller, and smaller, and smaller. But that was okay, by  that time I’d outgrown Joe.

Until now.

I was happily able to suspend my disbelief for the entirety of the film. I didn’t even have a problem with two G I Jane’s, they were pretty damned cool. With a G I Joe 3 in pre-production (at least according to IMDb) the film must have raked in some serious cash at the box office. So a lot of folks must have been able to suspend their disbelief as well.

To sum up? I’ll give G I Joe: Retaliation (and not forgetting G I Jane) a 4.5 stars out of 5. The reason the film got that high ranking is for Bruce Willis. I told you I’m a fanboy.

But before I leave, what is it with Dwayne Johnson and Willis? They seem to be in everything this year!

By Michael Smith 

United Kingdom

24 July 2013

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