The 2023 film Haunting of the Queen Mary is a confusing muddle. A parallel storyline mirroring current action leaves too many holes to fill. There are some good moments, but not enough to quantify spending almost two hours watching the movie.
The Story?
Apparently, there are several gruesome murders committed on the ocean liner. The Queen Mary, a real ocean liner, barely survives a rogue wave and resumes life as a tourist attraction at Long Beach, California, USA.
*In real life: The stately ship was converted into a hotel. It is, according to travelandleisure.com one of the most haunted places to lay your head in America. *
There are two stories here. The 1938 horror show that sees Fred Astaire (A real life hoofer and movie star.) dancing and the horrific murder of a number of Queen Mary passengers.
The parallel story sees Anne Calder and her nuclear family investigating the liner/hotel for paranormal activity. During the haunted tour, that Patrick takes son Lukas on, becomes an upsetting event, when Lukas disappears.
The tales intertwine and, to an extent, mirror each other’s timelines.
The Main Cast
Alice Eve is Anne Calder.
Joel Fry is Patrick Calder.
Lenny Rush is Lukas Calder.
Dorian Lough is Bittner.
The Family Ratch
Wil Coban is David.
Nell Hudson is Gwen.
Florrie Wilkinson is Jackie.
The Captain
Jim Piddock is Captain Caradine (A clear nod to John Carradine; head of the Carradine acting clan of David, Robert, Keith and Bruce. John, did a number of horror films throughout his career.)
Too much
There is too much going on here to follow easily. There are also too many “fake” accents. Dodgy accents aside, the Haunting of the Queen Mary aspires to be a great ghost film.
They borrow a lot from the 2002 horror film Ghost Ship. *But to be fair, they use the template of trapped spirits only.*
A highlight of the film sees Jackie Ratch dancing with Fred Astaire (played quite ably by Wesley Alfvin.) while an entertained Ginger Rogers (Maddison Nixon) and a bemused Victor (Angus Wright).
There is a lot going on here and it is not easy to follow. There are more questions than answers. Why does Poppa Ratch snap and murder so many people? Whys is son Patrik’s dwarfism never addressed? What exactly is Bittner’s place in this whole mess?
How does Alice know that Lukas was taken over by Jackie on the ship? It is never
Some Bits do work
There is an arm coming out of a mobile phone that is genuinely scary. Although to be fair, it is a riff off of a Grudge film. *In the second film, the Japanese production, a head comes out of the floor. A spoiler I know, but The Grudge 2 did come out in 2003.* I did actually jump though when the phone alarm went off.
While the scary bits are indeed scary, they lack originality. Director and co-writer Gary Shore borrows heavily from other horror films that have come before.
Overall, the Haunting of Queen Mary entertains but it is a convoluted mess. There is far too much going on to follow. Although it must be said, the Astaire dance sequence with Jackie (Whose dancing was done by no less than three “stunt dancers” was brilliant and worth the price of admission all by itself.) was brilliant if not too distracting.
The Verdict
The Haunting of Queen Mary barely earns a bewildering 3 stars. It should have been 2.5 but for that dance sequence. The film is streaming on Hulu.
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