Mikes Film Talk

The 2008 biker film homage Hell Ride is too busy losing something in the translation. Writer/director Larry Bishop, son of Joey, is giving us a look at a Roger Corman type biker film. This is his apparent love letter to all things 60’s and 70’s, all beaded leather jackets and bad acting.

The “original” biker films were cheap, loud and full of that bad acting. It did have some pretty iconic moments though.  * who can forget a mortally wounded Bruce Dern in The Wild Angels? Asking as he dies, “Does anybody have a straight cigarette?”*

Bishop’s homage, does looks good. It does not, however, contain any “great” moments like those old 70’s films. You can call Roger Corman many things, but corny wouldn’t be one of them. Hell Ride is just that, corny. In a bad way.

Hell Ride Cast:

Larry Bishop is Pistolero.

Michael Madsen is The Gent.

Vinnie Jones is Billy Wings.

David Carradine The Deuce.

Dennis Hopper is Eddie Zero.

Eric Balfour is Comanche.

Julia Jones is Cherokee Kisum.

What Hell Ride Looks Like

The film looks like a part of the “Grindhouse” flicks that Tarantino and Rodriguez put out in 2007. Appropriately enough the idea came about when Bishop was working with Tarantino on Kill Bill 2. While the idea might have been a brilliant one, the actual execution left a lot to be desired.

Problems

I’ll start by saying what I think was wrong with the film. Firstly, all the leads seemed to be doing their best Clint Eastwood impression. It was all clenched teeth and guttural whispering of lines; even the females. Everyone, that is, except Michael Madsen who played his character like…well, Michael Madsen.

If ever there was an actor who could be considered a “one-trick-pony” it is Madsen. Don’t get me wrong, I like Michael, but there is a reason why he doesn’t work that much. There are only so many films that need a Michael Madsen character.

*Side Note: The bikes all looked great. Except for the chopper that Madsen rode. His ride looked like it belonged to another biker and he’d borrowed it. It just did not fit his character.*

The other “problem with the film was the dialogue. It tried too hard to be “cute” and amusing. The blame for that lies squarely on the shoulders of Larry Bishop. It’s obvious that his father (who was known as a “comedians comedian”) was a comedy writer and comic.

Take this bit of dialogue. “It’s a business. Speaking of business. How’s business.” Spoken between David Carradine and Bishop. It reeked of last generation “smart ass” humour that does not fit in the realm of the biker world. Think Dean, Frank, Sammy, et al. “How’s your Clyde?”

Locations

The locations were fine and in keeping with the Southern California setting that the original biker films favoured. But that was about the only thing Hell Ride had going for it.

More Problems

Eric Balfour as Comanche/Bix/Sonny/Son was pretty much wasted in his part. I’ve already groused about Madsen, so we won’t mention him. David Carradine was seen too little. Vinnie Jones was miscast and seen too much. Dennis Hopper was, as usual, great; Hopper cut his teeth on the Biker Genre a’ la Easy Rider. Larry Bishop? Well, suffice to say, if he hadn’t written the damn thing.  Convinced Quentin to produce it and had Bruce Willis drop out as the lead. He wouldn’t have had to “star” in the film at all.

And that would have been a good thing.

*Another Side Note: Speaking of good thing (s): the score was boss. It fit the mood and the feeling of the old biker films. Unfortunately, a good score does not a good movie make.

Hell Ride Verdict

The final verdict? Crass, crude, un-creative, cinematic chaos. Poorly acted, poorly edited, and poorly received (by me). Want to re-live the madness that was 60’s and 70’s biker films? Watch the real deal, check out the originals and don’t waste your time on this one.

Hell Ride scrapes a paltry 2 out of 5 stars. It only gets that high because of Hopper and Carradine.

The Trailer