Face Off: Getting Hooked on Prosthetics (Recap/Review)

Face Off: Getting Hooked on Prosthetics (Recap/Review)

Season seven of the SyFy reality series Face Off began on Tuesday and it did not take long to get at least one viewer hooked on prosthetics. Makeup accessories aside, the 16 contestants were also an addictive bunch, talented and a little shook up at the news that they were not really on the show yet.

2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams Worst Film Ever

2001_Maniacs

I do realise that  branding 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams as the worst film ever leaves me open to all kinds of arguments. I will take the chance of having other people’s candidates for that “honour” thrown in my face, but, it is worth the risk.  It is very seldom that I find a film that I cannot watch all the way through. The follow up to the first campy horror film 2001 Maniacs with Robert Englund and Lin Shayne and the second in a planned trilogy, is worse than abysmal.

I would go so far as to say that it is execrable. Which is the nicest way I can think to put it.

The film was made on a budget of half a million and it looks like a lot less than that was actually spent on the making of this tragic waste of celluloid.

The first thing you notice when watching the film is the sound. The dialogue of each and every character, with the possible exception of Bill Mosley, sounds dubbed…by someone else. At times the actors lips don’t even match their spouted dialogue.  Even Mosley, of whom I am a huge fan, sounds like he has “looped” his lines after the fact.

Badly.

The plot, such as it is, deals with the Civil War dead who occupy Pleasant Valley having to take their show on the road. Their source of yankee souls to take has dried up so they decide to have a travelling road show of southern inhospitality to collect the ration of northern victims required to allow them to shuffle off to hell or wherever Civil War ghouls go.

Lin Shayne

Mired in with this plot “twist” is the introduction of Rome Sheraton, no points awarded for guessing who she is supposed to be, and her sister Tina Sheraton. The two parties meet up in Iowa and together they drag the film even further into the barnyard muck that passes as a film.

I noticed that if you look up the film in Wikipedia, the link to an interview by Bill Mosley gives you an Error 404. Presumably he was so appalled by the finished product that he had it taken down. For the man who so effortlessly scared the crap out of audiences as much as he amused in House of a 1000 Corpses and the follow-on film The Devil’s Rejects he must be embarrassed to be associated with such dross.

As I mentioned above, I literally could not finish watching the film. It was so bad, I began to suspect that most of the actors and all of the crew were meth addicts or half-wits who had never made a film before.

I try to never outrightly pan a film, I usually try to find some redeeming qualities. Unfortunately 2001 Maniacs: Field of Screams have none. At one point in the film, Bill Mosley as Mayor George W. Buckman (get it?) gets an obligatory close-up, one of several, and the “scar” over his missing eye  has been so inexpertly applied that it is coming off and looks as fake and as hokey as the rest of the film.

I’ve reviewed abysmal student films that were better than this drivel.

My final verdict?

Avoid at all costs. Getting poked in the eye with a sharp stick would be less painful than attempting to sit through this film. It would probably also be more entertaining.

I’ll finish this with a heartfelt plea to Bill Mosley, “Please, Please! Do not participate in  films like this anymore!”

Michael Smithfieldofscreams

United Kingdom

24 August, 2013

Wishmaster (1997): Tongue-in-Cheek Horror

Wishmaster (film)
Wishmaster (film) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Made in 1997 and directed by Robert Kurtzman (this was his second feature film) Wishmaster is a fun frolic of a horror film. With a cast list that reads like a “who’s who of horror” it’s easy to see why it did so well at the box office.

Promoted as a “Wes Craven Presents” film, it definitely fits into the Wes ‘we are not worthy’ Craven style of horror film.

Now about that cast list.

Robert Englund as Raymond Beaumont
Kane Hodder as Merritt’s Guard
Reggie Bannister as a pharmacist
Tony Todd as Johnny Valentine
Ted Raimi as Ed Finney
Angus Scrimm as Narrator
Joseph Pilato as Mickey Torelli
Andrew Divoff as The Djinn/Nathaniel Demerest
Tammy Lauren as Alexandra Amberson
Chris Lemmon as Nick Merritt

With the obvious exceptions of Tammy Lauren and Chris Lemmon (Jack Lemmon’s son and he sounds just like dad) all the names on the above list are horror film ‘alumni’ and well recognised by film fans.

Peter Atkins who wrote the film, named some of his characters after real-life writers in the horror and fantasy genres.

The plot is about an evil Djinn, aka genie, who inhabits a jewel. This jewel is appropriated by Chris Lemmon’s Auction house and while being appraised by the lab enable the Djinn to escape and wreck havoc on the world. The sting in the tale of this “genie” movie is that the Djin are the original form of the ‘helpful’ genie.

Narrator Angus Scrimm tells us at the beginning of the film that the Djinn equal fear. What he does not tell us is that the Djinn have a wicked sense of humour. Played with evil relish by Andrew Divoff, the Djinn obviously enjoys granting wishes, even when the “wisher” doesn’t intend to wish for anything.

English: Photo of Andrew Divoff taken at Adven...

Some of the FX are a little dated but the intent is still there and the film works in spite of it. It is a brilliantly funny film and well worth the time spent watching it. Some of the things the Djinn does reeks of irony. There is a moment in the film where a door man tells the Djinn that if he wants in the building, he’ll have to go through him. The Djinn with an evil laugh and a grin turns the man into part of a glass door so he can do just that. Wicked fun.

Wishmaster was made for an estimated budget of five million dollars and grossed three times that in box office sales. It was popular enough that it spawned a total of three sequels, finally ending after Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled

Despite the popularity of the original, it is easier to find copies of the sequels that it is to  find Wishmaster itself.

I would definitely recommend this to any horror film fan. Hell, it’s worth a look to just watch Chris Lemmon who is definitely a slice off the old peel.

Chris Lemmon at the 1990 Academy Awards. NOTE:...

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