Paranormal Activity 4 (2012): Flogging a Dead Horse

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After watching this fourth trip to the Paranormal “well” several metaphors sprang immediately to mind. The first one became part of the title; Flogging a dead horse, the second was hinted at in my first sentence; going to the well once too often and the third was, appropriately enough, trying to get milk when the cow’s run dry.

I am sure that I could think of more “sayings” to describe my feelings about this film; I know I had 97 minutes to come up with as many as my little brain could conceive. Since this fourth bite of the Paranormal Activity apple (see there’s another one) was poorly conceived and perhaps the most boring of all the PA’s to date.

Just in case you’re interested, and I realise that you probably aren’t but bear with me here, the film was directed by the team of  Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman which actually amazes me. This is the same team that brought us the incredible and exemplary 2010 documentary film Catfish and the “miles-better-than-this-rubbish” 2011 Paranormal Activity 3. It completely boggles the brain that two such capable film directors would willingly put their names on such dross.

Now don’t get me wrong. I like the Paranormal franchise. I enjoyed the first ultra low-budget film and did not mind the second one with its slightly larger budget. And since the third one took the story in a different direction, I quite enjoyed that one as well. I did think, however, that they should have stopped at 3.

The film starts with a short “home video” of Aunt Katie (the crazy one from the first film) bringing a present to nephew Hunter. The location is Carlsbad, CA and the setting of the second film – sis’ house. The screen then goes dark and proceeds to tell us that Hunter was kidnapped.

Auntie Katie trespassing...uh-oh.
Auntie Katie trespassing…uh-oh.

We are then treated to a replay of the end of the second film. Okay! With me so far? Now at the beginning of the film no mention, however oblique, is made of the third in the series. It will be referred to later but in a very off-handed fashion and you have to be looking for it. I was bored so I noticed it.

After being treated to a “soccer” game with a group of young boys, one of whom is not playing but standing at one end of the pitch with what appear to be giant worry beads around his neck, we meet our main protagonist’s for this part of the saga.

Wyatt (Aiden Lovekamp), older sister Alex (Kathryn Newton), Mum Holly  (Alexondra Lee ), Dad Doug (Stephen Dunham ) and a little later boyfriend Ben ( Matt Shively ). This is the family that will be drug into the paranormal verse. We also meet their next-door neighbours son Robbie (Brady Allen ) who gets taken in when his mother gets sent to the “hospital.”

It will come as no surprise that Robbie’s “mother” is Katie (Katie Featherston ) from the first film.

The plot device in this version of Paranormal Activity is the use of mobile (cell) phone cameras and webcams (or Skype or iChat) to record the events as they “oh so slowly” unfold. Despite the use of sound (they utilise the “rumbling” sound to the maximum extent possible) the pace and the tension are just not there.

In this film they included the ability of the “demon” to manifest in daylight and someone came up with the bright idea of using the Xbox Kinect “night-vision” setting to “see” the demon or deity or whatever it is in the dark. I got quite annoyed. My Kinect doesn’t have that setting and if it does, I’ve never seen it mentioned anywhere. So you have to ask yourself the question. Does Kinect really have that capability or is this a phoney baloney device set up by the film’s producer’s and director’s?

I want to see scary shit with my Kinect damn it!
I want to see scary shit with my Kinect damn it!

Who knows?

More importantly, who cares?

Certainly not me, I felt incredibly let down by this film. It did not look like the rest, even with the re-appearance of Katie from the first film. The family was too attractive. They did not have the same “real” look as the other casts for the other films. Alex and her family looked like any casting director’s idea of an upper-middle class American as apple-pie family. Although I could be wrong about their salary tier. I’m not sure how many houses in America have a computer to tell them that: “The garage door is opening.”

On a side note, I noticed that Jennifer Hale, the voice actress for the female Commander Shepard in the Mass Effect verse was credited as doing some voice-over work in the film, I wonder if she was the computerised voice that announced the doors opening and closing. If she was, how cool is that! 

Okay, geeky fanboy rant over, I’ll try to sum up my lukewarm feelings about the film.

I’d have to give it a 2 stars out of 5 and it only gets that much because I did jump once during the film. I am glad that I did not see this at the cinema as I would have thrown my popcorn at the screen and demanded my money back. Okay, I am exaggerating a little bit here, I wouldn’t ask for my money back.

Avoid this fiasco of a film and if it comes on regular telly…change the channel.

Even Alex is unimpressed by this film.
Even Alex is unimpressed by this film.

Games

Way back in July of last year The Today Show stated that “It’s weird for men over thirty to play video games, unless they’re playing video games with a child.” Okay, for those more observant of you out there, yes I did paraphrase the quote…a lot. But that was the bottom line message from television personality Donny Deutsch. Gee thanks Donny. I guess that puts me so far past weird that I can expect the men in white coats to come knocking any day now.

I can never understand this prejudice against video games. Normally rational adults spend more time denigrating and vilifying video games. Blaming them for everything from juvenile crime to brainwashing. So over thirty is too old to play video games? What about board games? Card games? The common thread in all these games is the word game. I know geriatrics that love playing games that range from Monopoly to Sorry.

I’m fifty-three years old. I’ll refrain from using that sickening phrase “I’m fifty-three years young.” This is always stated with a kind of simper – I have to massively control the urge to simultaneously gag and strangle any idiot who uses that phrase. Anyway, back to the point. At fifty-three, you might very well say that I should have more on my mind than playing video games. In most cases I’m sure you’d be right. In my case, no.

English: Arcade Video Game

I also happen to think that more men over thirty are playing video games than Donny or The Today Show think. That’s because video games, which started their infancy as Arcade games, have been around for quite a while now. Space invaders was available to play when I was just twenty. I remember it well. Just a quarter a  pop and you could play this exciting and frustrating game.

I was twenty-one when my first boss in the USAF took me to his house to see his new Atari machine. You could hook it up to your telly and fly planes and shoot each other. This kept us entertained for months. You could shoot each other with other vehicles, but, none of those were as much fun as the planes.

I then got off the “games train” for a few years. I rediscovered the train years later via a younger friend I worked with. He said, “Let’s go to the bowling alley. I want to show you something.” That something was Street Fighter. Once again I was hooked. Then I discovered Mario Bros, then Donkey Kong, well you get the idea. Once again I fell off the train.

Then we got our daughter a PS1 for Christmas and I met Laura Croft. I was in love! This gal was great! She could shoot in mid-air! WOW!  Plus, this gal had a story to go along with all this game play. This was the last time I got on the train and I’ve not gotten off. I don’t intend to either.

I can honestly say that until arthritis makes using the controllers too difficult – although…Hey, with the Kinect and the PS move, or even *shudder* the Nintendo Wii, that can be gotten around. I suppose that when I get really old and my mental facilities slow way down, I will have to stop. But until then, it’s  GAME ON!