In Legends:Gauntlet, against all odds, Sean Bean is still alive and struggling to learn who his character really is. While the DCO FBI undercover agent may still have no idea what his real name is, he is at least learning that the coma story repeated to him by his wife and boss is not true. In last week’s episode Martin Odum had second of two leads murdered before he could find out too much and when he captured the last man who could tell him, Kyle Dobson, their car was crashed into before they could get away.
Paula Deen made her first public appearance in front of TV cameras in Houston, Texas after a three month absence and she served up a special menu of tears and thanks to the audience. She played to the crowd during the live coverage of a cooking demo put on by the Metropolitan Cooking and Entertainment Show.
Written and directed by The Vicious Brothers, Grave Encounters is their maiden voyage as it were into the film world. Using the obligatory horror genre as their entrance, I am sure that the idea worked really well in script and storyboard form.
I really wanted to like this film. The beginning of the film looked great. Hell, the “trailer” for the ‘ghost hunter’ team played beautifully. I wanted to make that program.
The film opens as a mock-u-mentary, we hear from a television executive how Lance Preston sent in a demo reel for consideration as a new ‘reality’ program. The excec states that he was before his time and that this type of tv program hadn’t taken off yet.
Everything looked great until episode six. We are going to see episode six. He stresses that this is not a movie. It is seventy-six hours of un-edited footage from Lance’s last ever show.
We then meet the crew of Lance’s “professionals” and we see them setting up the shots for episode six. We meet cameraman TC (Merwin Mondesir), Techno Geek Matt (Juan Riedinger), pouty assistant Sasha (Ashleigh Gryzko), Psychic Houston (Mackenzie Gray) and presenter/expert Lance (Sean Rogerson).
They are all there to investigate the creepy abandoned Collingwood Psychiatric Hospital. This place, according to local legend, has had scary stuff happen ever since it closed down. And shades of The House on Haunted Hill; the reason it was closed was a mad doctor was murdered by six of his patients.
The first thing we learn upon meeting these guys and gal are that they are new to this whole ‘ghost busting’ gig and that, so far at least, they haven’t seen any ghostly goings on. We also find out that Houston is about as psychic as my left big-toe. He is in fact just an actor.
*He also, through no fault of his own, provides for some of the ‘unintended” laughs. Every time someone said his name and the word problem together, I felt like I was watching an astronaut film –
Right up until everything goes completely Pete Tong I was with them. I liked how the film was progressing and was ready for the action to pick up.
Unfortunately when it did pick up, the players all lost their cool too quickly. It was like watching a high school theatre group do improv. Everyone wanted to panic and scream.
Incidentally, I wanted Sasha to die immediately. Nothing personal, but her scream was so irritating that the threat the ghosts posed seemed minimal compared to the ear damage her shrieking must have caused.
But before everything goes completely crazy (Did you see what I did there?) The group have had very little happen to them and they decide to call it a night. They are bored, tired and hungry. All this was good. I mean they had me right there and ready to ride the roller coaster of fear.
Like the celestial virgin, there I was all juiced up and ready to go, but my partner was suffering from a terminal case of brewer’s droop.
It is quite possible that this film was much scarier in the cinema where sound and darkness could play a big part in setting you up for the jump. It just felt like a lukewarm version of The Blair Witch Project.
To say I was disappointed, would be an understatement. Somebody must have liked the film, because on IMDb there is a Grave Encounters 2 set for release this year.
It was inevitable that the success of the Paranormal series, which owes it own beginnings to Blair Witch, would spawn imitations. The guerilla style of film-making seems to be on the rise and to be fair it has resulted in some great little films. Cloverfield to name but one.
But for the love of all that’s scary, get off the Blair Witch train. Okay?
- First Still From Grave Encounters 2 on the Hunt! (dreadcentral.com)
- Grave Encounters 2 Goes Meta (dreadcentral.com)
- The Blair Witch Project [retro review] (mutantreviewers.wordpress.com)
- Sunday Horrors revised (theartsyfilmblog.com)
- Top 10 Found Footage/First Person Camera Horrors (thebitemagazine.wordpress.com)