Let me explain.
Everyone has baggage. Baggage equals: children – both young and/or grown, hang-ups – both recent and distant, family – parents alive and deceased, exes – ex-partners and ex-lovers (that may still be hanging around the periphery and causing problems), grandchildren – ugh. The last one hurts to actually think about. I mean I know I’m in denial about my age and the age of women who would be (logically) potential partners, but…dating Grandma’s??
I have my own baggage. Trust issues with future partners, this is based on my last long lasting relationship. The active dislike of dealing with other peoples issues. In-laws and their respective family units automatically become part of your family, whether you want them or not. I could handle all that political manoeuvring when I was much younger. I doubt I have the patience now. Other baggage includes my active denial and dislike of growing older. I haven’t gone through my second childhood yet – my daughter will probably argue I never left my first one – but, I am sure it isn’t far off. I do promise not to try skateboarding again.
I have thought seriously about this new thing everyone keeps talking about: Friends with benefits. I have decided at the end of the day that this simply will not work either. Why? Because I’m self admittedly picky. Kind of like Groucho Marx’s statement about clubs. “I wouldn’t want to be a member of any club who would accept me as a member.” Okay, apart from my eternal joking around about me being like Cary Grant and getting more attractive the older I get, I know that my “pulling” power is diminishing with age. I also don’t really fancy women my own age.
I know how that sounds. Bad right? But every relationship I’ve ever had, with one or two exceptions have been with women younger than me. My ex-wife was seven years younger. I don’t find overweight, leather faced, chicken winged gals attractive. Yes I know that makes me really shallow. I know this and I accept it. I will admit that yes personality pays a huge role in women I find desirable. The ability to laugh and have fun outweighs all the other factors I just mentioned. But what these older women all have in common is the baggage that comes with all these attributes.
It’s the baggage that really keeps me in the mindset that I will remain single for a very long time. I don’t want more children grown or otherwise. I don’t want any more in-laws deceased or otherwise. In a nutshell, I don’t want any baggage other than my own. I may eventually find a “beneficial friend.” But I think I’m quite happy doing what I’m doing now. Playing games – Assassins Creed Revelations at the moment, blogging, doing the odd video – YouTube, nothing rude I can assure you. Just living my day-to-day life and enjoying it, sans anyone else’s baggage.
One day I may feel differently, I may feel stronger, more tolerant of other folks baggage. When that happens I’ll grab a handful of metaphorical handles and give it a go. In the meantime, I’ll settle for carrying my own baggage, solo. Although I might invest in a trolley to help.