Scream Queens: Drain the Swamp – Teeth and Billy Ocean (Review)


The season finale of Scream Queens “Drain the Swamp” tied things up nicely. We got back Denise Hemphill, lost Dr. Cassidy, Dean Munsch got a new lease on life and Chanel #5 finally admitted to having teeth in her vagina.

On top of all that, we got Chanel Oberlin doing the finale recap to the music of Billy Ocean’s “When the Going Gets Tough” (the Tough Get Going). A song not used nearly enough after it’s debut as soundtrack fodder in the 1984 film “Romancing the Stone.”

Everything being wrapped up includes the demise of Nurse Hoffel, the last Green Meanie, in a pool of conveniently placed quicksand and not the swamp…

Hoffel kills Cassidy, who finally admits to Chanel #3 that he was always alive, with his love for her.  Cathy Munsch is “cured” by Chanel #5 who really is an “idiot savant” of medicine. The only Chanel to pass her MCAT unaided proves that Munsch is just severely dehydrated.

Hester clears out Cathy’s bank accounts and she, along with Brock Holt, buy Blood Island and begin a new life murdering innocent tourists. Chanel Oberlin becomes the new TV doctor that everyone loves.

Munsch becomes a sensation as the new “over 50” sex therapist and ZayDay Williams, along with #5, turn the hospital around and make it the next big thing in the world of incurable diseases.

Hoffel, before expiring in that quicksand, also kills Cassidy’s mum. Denise manages to save everyone from the evil nurse’s fertilizer bomb. She learned how to defuse a bomb not from Quantico the training center but from watching Alex Parrish on the television series.

The lunacy of Scream Queens continued right to the very end of the second season. Although the show’s creators managed to put a nice touch in the last few moments of the finale.

Oberlin finishes taping her show and gets into  her limo behind the soundstage. She spies a KKT monogramed object in the car moments before seeing a Red Devil in the seat behind her. Clearly, Wes’ daughter has escaped from the looney bin to avenge her father’s death.

If the series gets another greenlight, which will give us a third season, it appears that Chanel Oberlin may have gotten the chop from Grace. However, ZayDay Williams, Denise Hemphill, #5, with her toothy vagina, #3 with those earmuffs and Hester with Doctor Holt, who may or may not be a vampire (best line of the season…) could return.

Actually so could Nurse Hoffel there may have been a final air bubble from that quicksand, but we never see her die. Munsch is also available to be in another season along with Grace, if that is her in the red devil outfit.

Scream Queens finished what was, overall, a pretty satisfactory second season. There were moments where some of the humor fell a tad short from the sheer madness of season one but there were other moments where the comedy surpassed the previous show.

Sort of a six of one, half a dozen of another result.

Murphy and company managed to deliver a second time and it would be interesting to see if the show’s creators have crafted a third season where Grace returns for a little payback…


Scream Queens: Chanel Pour Homme-icide – Accents (Review)


Scream Queens this week managed to be the funniest episode as well as the most nonsensical. “Chanel Pour Homme-icide” changes the formula a bit. Instead of the most recently cured patient being offed by the Green Meanie, it is two of the new Chanel’s.

Of course the killer did go after Chanel #5 and Denise Hemphill in the Halloween episode. Chamberlin Jackson was attacked but Zayday was bypassed completely.

In this episode Nurse Hoffel has taken over as the new Chanel Oberlin, she calls the two Chanel’s “idiot b*tches,” and we learn that she is addicted to Pethidine and she knows all about Dean Munsch’s  cannibal induced disease. 

Denise Hemphill is not dead, although initially Munsch wants to throw her in the swamp. (Which, incidentally, would have been brilliant for last season since Hemphill was uber annoying. This season? Not so much.) Since the FBI agent cannot be resuscitated the Dean puts her in a cryogenic chamber.

The disease of the week in this episode was Madonna Accent Syndrome, aka Foreign Accent Syndrome. (This syndrome, or illness, really exists by the way so kudos to the writers for this one…) A patient changes her accent every single time she speaks (Not a really symptom…) after a head injury.

Perhaps the funniest bit of the entire two seasons of Scream Queens has the staff suddenly suffering from the same symptoms as  Hotchkiss.  Dr. Holt, Dr. Cascade and Chanel #3 all start changing their accents each time they speak.  All of them are classic “Hollywood” versions of foreign accents.

John Stamos’ character gets the line of the episode with his complaint:

“Damn it. My accent keeps changing. Now I sound like Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins.”

ZayDay recruits Chanel #5 to help track down the “baby in the belly,” #5 is annoyed that three new Chanel’s have been taken on board. She is especially upset that one of the newbies is a male.

Hester is also recruited. She gets the second funniest line of the episode as well:

“I’m a psychopath, a sociopath and I’m also allergic to gluten.”

After visiting the woman whose husband was dumped in the swamp, ZayDay believes that Chamberlin is the “baby in the belly.”

Ms. Hotchkiss is cured and the staff have settled into a faux British accent, and they decide to call Madonna.  Mensch fires Hoffel who blackmails her way into staying at the hospital.

Amazingly, Hotchkiss is not murdered.

The Chanel’s throw a party and set up Chanel #8 to be killed by the Green Meanie. Twink, aka Chanel #9 messes up their plan by stepping in to get the gift meant for #8.

#8 comes up to tell the Chanel’s that #9 wanted the present so she came back to the party.  They find #9 on a morgue drawer and he has been gutted. As most of the Chanel’s scream, Hester smiles.

Dean Munsch tells off the three original Chanel’s for not telling her about their plan.  Chanel #3 manages to work the word “onerous” into the conversation. Munsch  brings in three more Chanel’s into the hospital.

She also says that she will find Hester.  The first new Chanel dies, the one with six fingers on one hand. The Green Meanie chops off the extra digit and when the new Chanel thanks the killer, she is then stabbed to death.

Dr. Cascade is the “baby in the belly.”  And, he has lost his English upper-crust accent.

This last reveal could  mean that Cascade is the Green Meanie, but considering the size of the killer he probably is a red herring. If we go by size alone, the killer looks more like Nurse Hoffel.

She is quite tall, especially in heels and she is a full figured woman as well. Chamberlin is also big enough to be the Green Meanie but he was attacked as well. (Although looking at last season, there could well be two Green Meanies…)

This episode of Scream Queens was definitely worth a giggle or two. Although it does fall back on the season one formula, i.e. we are at a loss here, so let’s have a party.  It works, as it allows one new Chanel to be skewered.

It does appear that someone on the hospital’s staff called Madonna as both Chanel #3 and Dr. Cascade have lost their accents.

Scream Queens airs Tuesdays on FOX.


Guest starring Mary Birdsong as Penelope Hotchkiss, Trilby Glover as Jane, Moira O’Neill as Chanel #9, Pablo Castelblanco as Tristan, aka Twink.

Scream Queens: Halloween Blues – Denise? (Review)


Scream Queens “Halloween Blues” may just be the best episode out of both seasons. Not for Chanel-o-ween, or the Ivana, Ivanka Trump gag or even Chanel Oberlin turning blue. The highlight had to be the Denise Hemphill and Chanel homage to “Ghost.”

This Halloween episode started with Chanel wearing a Jackie Kennedy type outfit while she mourned the death of Chad Radwell. Getting zero empathy from anyone Oberlin goes off on a rant and Denise chases everyone out of the morgue so she can have some “alone” time with Radwell’s body.

It looks like there are two killers this season as well, although perhaps not until Hester was set free.  Keeping the show’s theme as ridiculous as possible, meant that when Chad was murdered, his entire family that previously disowned him died in a plane crash.

This allowed the rich deceased to leave all his money to Dean Munsch “for reasons that she is well aware of.” It also gave Chanel Oberlin a chance to launch herself at the hapless lawyer who read Chad’s last will and testament.

Denise allows Hester out of her cage for the party. She tells Ulrich she has to dress like Jason from the Friday the 13th movies but once Hester is out she goes for  Ivana, or Ivanka, Trump.

Hester goes after “I’m Blue, oobie doobie” Oberlin but fails to kill her. Later she starts to kill Chanel #5 but allows the Green Meanie to stab her in the back with the machete.


The party is a great excuse for a lot of fun with costumes. ZayDay gets a load of grief from Dr. Cascade for dressing like ISIS and Munsch dresses like Hamilton, aka Lin-Manuel Miranda.  The best sight gag of the series involved a whole load of “Hamilton’s” coming in the ER having been poisoned while  bobbing for apples at another Halloween party.

The only member of that party not to be poisoned was…wait for it…Snow White.


Denise Hemphill dressing up in Chanel Oberlin’s wedding dress and reliving all her memories of shagging with Chad was almost hysterically funny.  The two recreated scenes from Brokeback Mountain and American Beauty.

For the first time since this series started Hemphill was actually funny and now Murphy and company  decide to kill her off? This Halloween episode was a winner not only for Hemphill but also Chanel Oberlin got to do some over the top reactions to Chad’s death and then his stiffing her in his will.

On top of Denise apparently being shock paddled to death, Chanel #5 may die as well. Although she was still able to call for help even with the machete stuck in her back.

The highlight of the episode was Denise and Chanel Oberlin using the “talking board” aka Ouija board, to speak with Chad.  With Radwell showing up and channeling Denise so he could talk to Chanel (See what we did there?) the entire sequence was gut bustingly funny.

Of course he loved Denise more than Chanel and of course the “spell” was broken before he could reveal who murdered him.  The killer may well be Dr. Brock Holt. Mainly because he does seem to be lacking somewhat as a doctor.

In this episode he turns Chanel Oberlin blue and misdiagnoses the Halloween party members who were poisoned. He decides the apples were full of ergot and it was actually the water causing the problems.

Chanel #3 was very quiet in this episode as was her new bae Dr. Cascade. Even Dean Munsch was not overly out in front in “Halloween Blues.


This episode belonged to Denise Hemphill Special Agent (nice Quantico reference by the way) and Chanel Oberlin. Even Chanel #5 got a little bit of the  spotlight with her little hissy fit about Ivana vs Ivanka.

Scream Queens knocked it out of the park with Denise Hemphill’s demise, or possible demise, and while it was not quite the bloodbath imagined, after the whole 1980’s massacre backstory, it was very good.

Speaking of the ’80’s, the music selection for the soundtrack was spot on. The series airs Tuesdays on FOX. Tune in and see if both Chanel #5 and Denise really are taking a dirt nap after that shocking attack by the Green Meanie.


Scream Queens: Black Friday – Stating the Obvious (Review)

Scream Queens has, thus far, been a lot of fun to watch. Black Friday, with the start of the episode featuring Chanel Oberlin (Emma Roberts) torturing the poor downtrodden American overweight and unwashed who watch helplessly as she scoops all the best bargains is on par with the level of comedy this show has to offer.


Scream Queens has, thus far, been a lot of fun to watch. Black Friday, with the start of the episode featuring Chanel Oberlin (Emma Roberts) torturing the poor downtrodden American overweight and unwashed who watch helplessly as she scoops all the best bargains is on par with the level of comedy this show has to offer. .The storyline, of the girls deciding to murder Dean Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis) with its Rasputin theme was brilliant.

Right up until the writers decided to treat the viewer as though they had the same intelligence levels as the characters in Kappa Kappa Tau, or the single remaining Dickie Dollar Scholar Chad Radwell (Glen Powell). Stating the obvious, Hester (Lea Michele) goes on to state the obvious connection in case, you know, the viewer  missed the whole Rasputin thing. 

The gags still worked, Hester does wait until after the Cryosauna fails to work but once she tells the group about the “mystic monk” and the many attempts to murder the man, along with the fact that the man managed to partially free himself before drowning after being, poisoned, shot, beaten and thrown in the frozen river where his body was later found, the urge to slap the writer became almost unbearable.

Still the remaining bit of the storyline worked until that lame scene between Chanel and Munsch as the deserted pool.  Was it just this viewer who found that to be a yawn to the nth? Perhaps someone found it to be entertaining but is just did not flow…

Standout moments:

Chanel Oberlin being shot with the crossbow and surviving.  Funny and revealing.

Denise Hemphill finally getting a gun and becoming a) A real cop and b) the chief of police and c)failing to shoot the red devil when she has the chance. For the first time since her introduction, Hemphill was actually funny rather than annoying as hell.

*Sidenote* This was, however,  a missed moment.  The red devil lets off the crossbow bolt and misses Denise by a mile killing  another cop instead. 

Chad Radwell attempting to recruit Pete Martinez (Diego Boneta) to the very empty frat house and kudos to actor Glen Powell for being able to say Dickie Dollar Scholars repeatedly without messing up. (Any bets as to how many takes this scene took?) 

Dean Munsch and ZayDay talking Gigi’s roasted head.

ZayDay Williams (KeKe Palmer) tearfully admitting that the roasted head of Gigi Caldwell, aka Jess Meyer, (Is this a reference to Halloween? Michael Meyers?) actually smelled pretty tasty…

Pete and Grace’s dad bonding over researching Gigi’s past and the sex talk between Wes and Grace who then decides that she is ready to bed Pete…

Honorable Mention:

The whole cryosauna bit had to a be an obvious nod and wink to Jason X where the indestructible baddie from the Friday the 13th franchise is cryogenically frozen and then comes back to life in space.  Nice touch.

Dean Munsch getting her Jason X on…


Overall the episode was a bit like its title.  Like Black Friday, which is full of desperate people trying to buy things on sale and then feeling let down when they miss the bargain of a century, the episode feels like a  bit of a let down.

Pete appears to be confessing, a least twice, that he is “one of the killers.” (There are more than two remember?) So there is still that person on the other end of the cell phone who must also be a murderer.  Points given for keeping the suspect list high.

The bit where Grace and Chanel both decided to kill the dean and poison her was a nice touch, as was Wes’ zeroing in on Gigi’s (Jess’) liking his playlists.

And finally…Anticlimactic is the best way to describe the pool scene between Chanel #1 and Dean Munsch.  Granted, the series, which has not been approved for another season yet, has only one more two-hour episode left in its first run but that was just blah.

This was the penultimate episode since FOX has combined the final two episodes for a finale. Usually, the slamming together of the season’s last two segments  is a bad sign.  In this case though  it may just be FOX trying to get the series over before Christmas TV begins.

Certainly Ryan Murphy is planning on a “Sleepaway Camp” theme for season two, but whether this transpires or not has not been confirmed by the network. FOX have not  greenlit giving the series another chance to air next year.

Scream Queens is a funny, irreverent look at sorority horror films and the series shows what can be done with a  splendid mix of comedy and slasher horror.  The two hour finale airs on December 8. Tune in and see who makes it to the end, four, or, as Oliver Hudson has hinted, five. 

Scream Queens: Ghost Stories (Review)

Scream Queens: Ghost Stories reaches a pinnacle with its homage riffs when using the water device from Kill Bill Vol. l (the one in the Lucy Lui and Uma Thurman duel in)


Scream Queens: Ghost Stories reaches a pinnacle with its homage riffs when using the water device from Kill Bill Vol. l (the one in the Lucy Lui and Uma Thurman duel) not once but twice, as Denise Hemphill tells two Japanese ghost stories set in the bathroom.  This episode marks the first time that Hemphill (Niecy Nash) has scored a “win” with this viewer, although it was disappointing to see the most annoying character of the series still living at the end of the episode. 

(Never has the sight of red and blue toilet paper – red equals throat slit and blue equals strangling – evoked such euphoria…)

Chanel #3 (Billie Lourd) sees “dead gay Boone” sans his Joaquin Phoenix disguise and tells the rest of the Chanel’s that he is haunting her. This prompts Hemphill to tell ghost stories, two of which are Japanese with one called “The Kappa” (which is a play on words…get it?) and one tale features the red roll of toilet paper and the blue one.  The other has a hand reaching up from the toilet and grabbing the person on the convenience and dragging them into the sewers to die. 

Ghost story gags aside, the body count is quite high, Earl Grey buys it, Hester, aka Chanel # 6, aka Lea Michele, dies and dead gay Boone is killed for real this time.  (It has to be said that the “dead gay Boone” thing was funny and one kept expecting the follow-on of “Say that fast three times” to turn up.)

By the end the show, Chanel Oberlin (Emma Roberts)  has claimed her second victim. She boots Hester down the stairs and the neck-brace girl lands at the bottom with a subtle neck crunching sound While Ms. Bean (the cook Chanel kills by frying her face off) may have been accidental, Chanel # 6 was definitely on purpose. 

Gigi is shown, again,  to be the “mastermind” behind the red devils and Boone one-half of the twins born that fateful night,  from the death seen at the start of the series. Dean Munsch (Jamie Lee Curtis) confirms that two babies were born that night. Gigi almost gets taken out of the equation by “not-dead” gay Boone but his twin stabs him instead.  

Missing from this episode were Grace’s dad Wes (Oliver Hudson) and Pete (Diego Boneta) which begs the question: Are they the other murderous team? 

Gigi mentions in another episode that there is another murderer, or murderers,  “competing” with their death/revenge spree.  The last red devil,  the “sibling” who murdered Boone, is still unidentified and could well be Pete, or an as yet unidentified female from Kappa, like Chanel #5, with her toothy vagina…

Wes Gardner is odd enough to be a suspect as a player on the other “team”  although it is pretty apparent that Dean Munsch is at least a murderous partner of the other serial killer team running around on campus. So she and Wes could be killing to their own agenda…

In terms of comedy/horror Scream Queens rocks it out of the park each week.  Ryan Murphy, Iain Brennan and Brad Falchuk have come up with a cast of characters who are all nitwits of the finest order.  While some are more devious than others, the average brain power of each one, if combined with all the other characters on the show, could not think their way out of a damp paper bag.

It is this combination of challenged intellect and vacuous self centered narcissism to the nth degree that makes the characters so funny. This also allows the creators free reign on plot twists, homages, full-on slap-stick and bad puns.

Line of the episode: 

Gigi: “Boone… you are… the weakest link.”

Scream Queens is addictively funny and worth every laugh filled minute. The series airs Tuesdays on FOX and is a delicious treat from the team that brought the world Glee and American Horror Story.

%d bloggers like this: