‘The Ranch’ Season One Part Two: Gone as a Girl Can Get (Review)

Sam Elliot and Barry Corbin in The Ranch

The Ranch, season one part two  has started on Netflix.  It picks up where part one left off, Abby has told Colt that she is not sure that marrying Kenny is the right thing to do and Maggie is still gone. Two of the Bennett men have “girl” trouble and even worse, the show still feels uneven and unfunny.

Sam Elliott (a personal favorite) still feels like he is in a different show.  Kutcher and Masterson both act like they are re-creating their roles from That ’70’s Show and veteran character actor Barry Corbin is the only one of the cast who can bridge the gap.

There are so many things wrong with this series that it is hard to imagine Netflix bringing it back.  Shot on a set, rather than on-location, the format feels as fake as Bonanza used to once audiences became more sophisticated.

The Ranch could still work despite the feeling that we are watching a badly written play.  However the humor is forced and stale. Perhaps it comes across better to people who work in that demographic. Ranch hands, or cowboys may be “splitting a gut.”

Sadly the whole thing still feels off and despite trying to be a dramedy, the show misses any chance to work honest emotion.  When Beau cries at the end of the episode, one feels that it is really Sam Elliott shedding those tears for agreeing to come back to this mess.

Normally, when watching someone like Beau, a real old fashioned sort of “man’s man,” trying to ignore the tears spilling down his cheeks, a lump the size of Texas will hit the old throat.  This time, however, Beau’s pain is disregarded by the series’ writers and the director.

Beau grits out, “Am I that hard to live with?”  Rooster answers back with bland one-liners that are supported by a laugh track. (This may not be pre-recorded laughter but it certainly feels like it.)

The answer is obvious. Of course he is.  Part one set that up.  Because Bennett is an old fashioned type of guy.  He is unbending and finds it hard to reach out or even express himself freely.

It is why Colt left to begin with and why Maggie has left him again. Beau may be coming to a realization too late that he is now reaping what he spent a lifetime sowing.

He is resistant to change and says so when Dale stops by to vaccinate the calves.

Colt is still on the fence about Abby and by the end of the episode, despite her deciding to marry Kenny, lock lips on her porch. Unfortunately this was signposted so prominently in the episode it comes as no surprise.

We have, in fact, been aware that this relationship was going to be rekindled from part one of the Ranch. This is just one of the examples of how the series is all too predictable.

Of course the main problem is that the show tries to combine comedy with drama in a ham-fisted fashion.  Using vapid and dated one-liners to sell the humor against the very real portrayal of a man having more than his fair share of hard times.

Elliott is the very picture of gravitas in any role he plays.  He is the odd man out here. (Just as three time Oscar nominee Debra Winger is the odd woman out.)  Two fine actors who deliver more often than not.

Unfortunately the hackneyed humor detracts from their performances. The jokes are like those horrid and unfunny gags pulled on The Grand Ole Opry; stale and uncomfortable. The kind of comedy that gets the odd chuckle and an urge for the performer to stop messing about and just sing.

The first episode of The Ranch Part Two  is still struggling to entertain.  Like a clumsy dance partner the show is treading on the audience’s toes and expecting them to laugh about it.

The Ranch is streaming on Netflix at the moment. All 10 episode are available to watch in one go, or two.


Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis Say I Do in Fourth of July Wedding

Jackie Burke and Michael Kelso MIla and Ashton That '70s Show
At long last, the romance that started on That ’70s Show between their two characters has ended in a romantic Fourth of July weekend wedding for Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis as they both said “I do,” in a secret ceremony. The two performers played on-again-off-again couple Michael Kelso and Jackie Burkhart in the series, which starred Topher Grace and Laura Prepon as the show’s other romantically attached couple.

According to Kunis, now Mrs. Kutcher, her first “real” kiss was with the Michael Kelso actor on the popular show about a group of friends in Wisconsin. While several sites are reporting that the two have married over the weekend, their reps have neither confirmed or denied the marriage reports.

Both actors were attached to other people for a number of years. 31 year-old Mila dated Home Alone star Macaulay Culkin for years and 37 year-old Kutcher was married to Bruce Willis’ ex Demi Moore whom he divorced in December 2013. Ashton and Kunis became an item in 2012 and began dating seriously in 2013.

The newlyweds got engaged in February 2014 and already have a child, 9 month-old Wyatt Isabelle and the two were rumored to be married earlier this year. Mila has been quoted as saying that many people have movie star crushes that she was lucky enough to have married hers.

This “tying of the knot” is Mila’s first and Ashton’s second.

While the rumor has not been officially confirmed, the news that they married over the holiday weekend is pretty exciting stuff for their fans. Their love story has been a sort of Hollywood fairy tale with a magical ending for both. So at long last Michael Kelso and Jackie Burkhart are married, under the guise of Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis.

Congratulations you two crazy kids.

Paris Hilton Punk’d in Poor Taste (Op/Ed)

Paris Hilton looking different
Ashton Kutcher and his MTV prank show Punk’d may not have started the whole, let’s pick on a celebrity craze, but he can be blamed in part for it. The show was wildly popular and it became a bit of a status symbol to get targeted by the new Mr. Kunis. Other countries have adopted the format and now Paris Hilton has been “punk’d” by Egyptian telly presenter Ramez Wakel el-Gaw. The 34 year-old celebrity and “actress” was caught out on a recent Dubai trip and the whole “punk’d” experience looks to be in very poor taste.

The segment of the show, which can be seen in the YouTube video below, is not actually very funny; for a number of reasons. For a start, there are too many “uncomfortable” things going on, close seating, a “foul” smell caused by an aerosol can being sprayed behind Hilton’s seat, and when the plane goes into crash mode, everyone starts screaming. On top of that, two members of what look like aircrew, open the back of the plane and after one jumps out, start attempting to hand out parachutes.

“I don’t want to jump,” wails Paris as the woman immediately behind her appears to start throwing up. Hilton apparently has a fear of dying in a plane crash, perfectly understandable considering the amount of air travel she must do on an annual basis. While this may not be common knowledge someone must have known and this makes the entire “prank” a cheap shot and not funny at all.

Not being a huge fan of Hilton, I will confess to cheering when her character’s head was skewered by a pole in the 2005 House of Wax remake, not just because the woman cannot act, but because of her dubious claim to fame. Several websites have pondered whether or not Paris was in on the gag or not. As at least one pointed out, “She is not that good an actress.”

Point taken.

By the end of this questionable stunt the presenter professes his “love” for Paris and she replies, “I’m going to kill you.” According to other publications she has gotten over her “shock” and has tweeted about the incident relating little “anecdotes” about her terrifying experience. No surprise there, this is the woman who turned what could have been a soul destroying sex tape leak into almost instant success.

While Paris hits Twitter, there may be a couple of Egyptian show hosts and presenters who might have to watch their collective backs for a while, not for a Hilton hitman, or woman, to snuff them out, but for a lawyer armed with a bit of “punk’d” paperwork for them. Turn about, as they say, is fair play chaps.

On a side note: is that plane a Sherpa? Anyone who knows; answers on a postcard please or in the comment section. Cheers.

Kindergarten Cop Remake Destined for Straight to Video Bin?

The original Kindergarten Cop, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Pamela Reed and the iconic Linda Hunt, is on the remake train and at first glance it is destined for the straight-to-video, or DVD, bin. The first film was directed by Ivan Reitman, a director whose magical touch also graced Evolution (2001), My Super Ex-Girlfriend (2006), Ghostbusters I & II, and a long list of comedic efforts that fared well with the public.

The full article can be read at Viral Global News…

MTV Movie Awards and Mila Kunis Baby Bump

MTV Movie Awards and Mila Kunis Baby Bump

As un-entertaining as the MTV Movie Awards show was, it was nice to see that someone else noticed the lengths that the camera crew went to so that Mila Kunis’ baby bump was not visible to the audience at home. Wearing a simple black number, the 30 year-old Ted star came up from the crowd to collect her Best Villain Award for her portrayal as Theodora the Wicked Witch of the West in Oz The Great And Powerful.

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