Shaolin Soccer And 5 Other Completely Bonkers Martial Art Movies

Shaolin Soccer And 5 Other Completely Bonkers Martial Art Movies.

No Blood No Tears: Teaching Guy Ritchie a Thing or Two.

No Blood No Tears (Pido nunmuldo eobshi) is co-written and directed by Seung-wan Ryoo. The same director who brought us the brilliant films Arahan and Crying Fist. Ryoo has directed ten films so far and judging from his work on the three films I’ve mentioned, I am desperate to see more of his films.

The plot of No Blood No Tears revolves around two female characters.  Su-ji played by Do-yeon Jeon who is a “wanna be” popstar whose boyfriend is a homicidal monster and Kyeong-seon played by Hye-yeong Lee  is the reluctant, “hard as nails” female gangster whose dead husband’s gambling debts have forced her to take on ‘real’ work as a cab driver. Kyeong-seon is also trying to go straight, when she was younger she was a safe-cracker and has no wish to go back to prison. The two females literally bump into each other at the beginning of the film with Su-ji driving straight into the side of Kyeong-seon’s cab.  The two women have nothing in common and due to the strained circumstances of their meeting, don’t look like they will bond at all. But fate is a funny thing and it turns out that they both need money. Lots of money.

Su-ji needs the cash to get away from her cruel boyfriend and to get the plastic surgery she needs to pursue her career. Kyeong-seon needs the money to pay off the loan shark her dead husband owes money to. Since neither woman can achieve what they need alone, Su-ji suggests they team up to steal what they need from her boyfriends club.

Su-ji’s ‘terminator’ style boyfriend’s club  specializes in illegal dog-fights. The club is making money hand over fist. The two girls work on a plan that will allow them to enter the club unnoticed, switch the duffle bag that is used to transport the nights takings to the mob with a bag filled with newspaper. The plan looks like a ‘shoe-in’ except for one  problem the two girls are not the only folks who have decided to help themselves to some of the clubs money. Two other groups  have also picked the same night as Su-ji and Kyeong-seon.

This film is a very above average heist film. The pacing is taut and the action is ferocious. The film also has it’s fair share of funny moments as well.  The director has used  his “regular”- Seung-beom Ryu – Arahan and Crying Fist, again for his first class comic acting that we’ve seen in Arahan. Goo Shin plays KGB, the scary, cruel, and seemingly indestructible boyfriend of Ju-ji.

The divergent groups clash, intertwine and double cross each other. It can get a little confusing if you haven’t been paying attention. During the middle of the film it becomes a case of ‘Bag, Bag, who’s got the Bag?’ With the amount of times that the cash filled duffle bag changes hands, you can get lost in the shuffle. There is a lot of brilliant wire work, and the fights scenes have been choreographed brilliantly. The cinematography is spot-on, with a sharp ‘drabness’ that shows what kind of world these people inhabit.

I enjoyed this film very much, so much so, that after I’d finished watching it I immediately started looking to see if there had been a sequel. Everyone in the film gave an outstanding performance. If you want to see what films like Snatch and Lock, Stock and Smoking Barrel  could have been, watch this film. Don’t get me wrong, I adore LSSB…a lot. But After watching this film I realized it could have been even better.

Arahan – Kung Fu Comedy

ARAHAN  directed and written by Seung-wan Ryoo (he also wrote and directed No Blood No Tears and Crying Fist among others) is a fantastic romp through modern South Korea.

Seung-beom Ryu plays bumbling cop Sang-hwan, he is a sincere but inept character at the beginning of the film. While chasing a thief, he gets hit by a “palm-blast” directed by a young lady who is trying to help him. This event has a two-fold effect. Sang-hawn is instantly memorized by the beauty of this young lady and he is injured by the power of her palm-blast.   The girl takes Sang-hawn to her father, a martial arts instructor, for treatment. After regaining his senses Sang-hwan finds out the girl is Wi-jin and she is learning how to be a martial arts master.

Sang-hwan is so taken by Wi-jin’s beauty that he completely misses what her father is saying. He has discovered while treating Sang-hwan that his “chi” is very powerful and that he has the potential to become a martial arts master as well.  Wi-jin’s father insists that Sang-hawn start learning the skills that will make him a master. Excited at the prospect of learning the powerful palm-blast and getting to train with Wi-jin, he accepts.

Sang-hawn and Wi-jin are taught by five martial arts experts. Their main goal is to help Wi-jin and Sang-hwan round up their numbers to defeat an evil sixth martial arts expert who is determined to destroy the world.

Seung-beom Ryu is an extremely talented actor. In Arahan he shows a great flair for comedy and physical action. I have always thought of him as the South Korean Jerry Lewis. Early in the film his character is subjected to complete humiliation by a gang of crooks. Later in the film, he gets revenge with some very unwelcome help by Wi-jin. While he is training Ryu shows the gradual growth of his character not only in his martial arts skills but in his personal growth as well.

This film is a brilliant blend of comedy and action. There is a scene towards the beginning of the film where Wi-jin is explaining to Sang-hwan that everyone has ‘chi’ and they use it everyday. This sequence alone is worth the price of admission (or the price of renting the DVD). A rapid montage of people doing seemingly impossible tasks shows just how these ‘normal’ people use their ‘chi’ to their benefit.

While Sang-hwan and Wi-jin train, the evil master is busy trying to take revenge on his former colleagues, the five masters who are now training the young couple.  The five masters are played by actors well known for their past performances as martial arts experts in South Korean Cinema. Director Ryoo planned this film as a homage to the popular South Korean films of the seventies and eighties.

So-yi Yoon plays Wi-jin. This was her first foray into feature films and her performance was impressive. She performed all her own stunts and I found her completely believable as the girl who must follow her destiny to become a master martial artist.

The overall story arc was easy to follow and incredibly funny. The only time the film gets “serious” is when the final battle between the evil master and the young couple takes place. This was my first introduction to South Korean comedy action films and I immediately fell in love with all the characters and what they were doing. I also fell in love with the genre.

Take a moment to watch this wonderful film and you won’t regret it. Pop some corn, and settle back to watch one of the best exports to come out of South Korean cinema.