On Hold


Everyone at one point or another gets their life put on hold. By that I mean, you get put in a “holding pattern.” Like an aircraft you are just circling around waiting to land. And like an aircraft, you life is “up in the air.”

Getting your life put on hold is common. It can happen for a variety of reasons. Illness, accidents, moving, becoming unemployed, the list can go on and on. These reasons are related only by the fact of their occurrence and the effect they have on your lifestyle…and the pursuit of it.
Getting put on hold can range from being a minor nuisance to a major catastrophe. Minor nuisance examples are being put on hold on the telephone.
Over here whenever you ring a customer service hotline, you almost invariably enter a queue. Apparently, everyone picks the same time to call and complain or get a problem sorted out. When the customer hotline responds to your call, you are immediately informed that you have entered a queue and what your place is in it. While you are waiting the telephone version of Muzak is pumped into your ear. This drone of sometimes classical, sometimes “bubble-gum” pop music is interrupted periodically by a pre-recorded voice. This voice informs you that “Your call is important to us. We will answer your query shortly.” I am sure this is meant to be reassuring and calming. It does neither for me. It does, however, give a much needed break from the “hold” music.
Major catastrophes are a slightly different kettle of fish. These on hold occurrences generally don’t have the sort of time period that can be counted by how far you are in the queue. These on hold periods can last indefinitely. Sometimes for the rest of your life. 
What both of these “on hold” things have in common is that loss of control. They make you feel helpless, and in the case of the more major instances, you feel disoriented. In both cases you might as well be running on a treadmill. Both legs churning furiously, but going nowhere at all. 
In the case of the telephonic on hold, we can at least take comfort in the knowledge that sooner or later, we will actually get to speak to a real person.
In the case of the life on hold? We can always take comfort in the knowledge that at the very least, we don’t have that damn music droning in our ear while we wait to get our life back on track.

Manipulators

 

The world is full of manipulators. We all know at least one, although I think that the figure of “one” is much too low. Unfortunately, manipulators are not easy to recognise. They do not have a sign around their necks stating their intent or (unfortunately) saying “unclean.” But if you look carefully you can spot the signs or signals that these “people” exhibit.It is not easy.

Manipulators always put their “best” face forward. In other words they all “appear” to be sweetness and light on the outside. It is only on further dealings with them that they reveal their “true” nature. If you are lucky, you will catch  on to what they are doing quickly. If you are like most folks, you will not. What true manipulators do best is act one way when dealing with you, but, do the opposite when talking about you or setting you up to take a fall.

For example, I know one such manipulator who likes to present a “picture” of all sweetness and innocence. Butter would not melt in their mouth. This same person also uses words in their vocabulary that would make a twenty-year sailor blush…a lot. This person is very skilled at using smoke and mirrors at deflecting anything that might be misconstrued as “unflattering” by batting their eyelashes and swearing that they could not possibly not be a nice person.

I would like to say that this “two-faced” so-and-so got their comeuppance. Unfortunately that still remains to be seen. Maybe one day they will be found out, but not any time soon, I am thinking. For manipulators are very good at what they do. Manipulating.

They skilfully play one side against the other.

Telling one person one thing, then, completely contradicting themselves to someone else. These manipulators will even do so in print. Easily confident they they will not be caught out they play this game with an adroitness that is almost scary. And more often than not they succeed.

Why? Because all of us who are not manipulators do not want to believe that our fellow man is capable of such chicanery. We all tend to believe the best of the people we meet and greet each day. Until we have been shown the error of our ways, we continue to do so.

If we are lucky enough we can discover who the manipulators are in our lives and sever ties with them.  For that is the only way to deal with this type of person. The answer is to cut off relations of any type. You cannot trust someone who has no qualms at attempting to do you harm to get ahead. If you are fortunate enough to discover who is manipulating you act immediately.

Start cutting.

Incapacity


I have discovered that I do not handle being incapacitated well. You would think I would be quite good at it considering I had back problems for years. But I have gotten used to “living normally” and being relatively pain free. In my defence I will say it is not just being incapacitated that bothers me, it is the addition of the medication and the psychotherapeutic exercises.

I have now been officially “off” work for five weeks. It is beginning to look like it may be another five weeks before I can be declared back to “normal.” So okay, the pain and the inability to walk more than ten feet with out hurting is irritating. But the pain is tiring and unrelenting. This combined with the medication makes me so tired I keep having to have naps. I’m starting to feel like a three year old who cannot go all day without his afternoon nap. Okay Mikie time for your nap, we don’t want you getting overtired and grumpy now do we.

I’m also having to control the urge to panic. Yes, you heard right, panic. I had back pain for years (I believe I’ve mentioned this before), I had learned to live “normally” with the pain via a cocktail of drugs (all legally prescribed) that helped give the illusion that I could do anything I wanted to. I then had the operation that really allowed me to live normally. I haven’t had anything go wrong with my back except for the occasional muscle pain from over-exertion. The initial prognosis is I have nerve damage. I knew that already. I lived with the symptoms for years. I really do not want to go back to the “long term” pain and drugs lifestyle again.

Then we have the hated physiotherapy. I say hated because I had begun to loathe the whole concept before the operation. I had done these “stupid” exercises for years with no sign of improvement to show for it. Yes I know that they really did help in the long-run. They helped me keep flexible and built the muscles up that, through pain, I had let get sloppy. It’s just that all physiotherapy has one thing in common…it hurts. It hurts while you are doing the exercises and it hurts afterword. I know it helps, I just don’t like it.

I haven’t gotten depressed though. I also do not feel sorry for myself. I realise that there are folks out there who have illnesses and maladies so much worse than mine. So I do not complain.

I do grumble.

But grumbling is allowed and necessary, I think. So while I might recognize that I am not good at dealing with incapacity, I will not complain. 

I also have to say a big thank you to Dolan Mayorga for giving me a gentle nudge to start blogging again. So, “Thanks mate!”

Another Blog??

So, here I go. Opening up yet another blogging format. First I just had to try Blogger. Then I had to try Tumblr. Now I am trying WordPress. Why. Do I have a lot to say? Do I have  a lot of ideas rumbling around in my head? Do I feel I have something special to offer anyone who reads these blogs? And of course  most importantly; do I think anyone will even want to read my musings?

Well the answers are: yes, yes, maybe, and I don’t know. I do know that I feel like I have to make up for lost time. I spent a lot of years wanting to write about everything and anything. But writing requires a certain amount of discipline and solitude. Although I will admit that  solitude  is not the most important, I am discovering that with  discipline, I can write just about anywhere. I cannot write “longhand,” so it is a case of “have laptop, will write.” I know it’s not as catchy as “Have gun, will travel” but I can live with that.

The hardest thing to come up with was a title for my many different blogs.  I started with Random Thoughts for a Random World for both my other blogs. Because they are, in essence, the same blog. So far I have been satisfied with writing something on Blogger and then just copying it onto Tumblr. I feel that I can reach twice the amount of people that way.

I think that my WordPress blog will keep the moniker of MikesFilmTalk, mainly so I force myself to write something a bit different from the other blogs. I think I will probably write about films and film related things here just to make things a bit more diverse.

So hello WordPress, let’s see how we get on together. Oh, and I’ll make a small confession. The first film “review” I put on here will be one (like Blue Peter) that I did earlier.

Doors

We all know what doors are. Put in the simplest terms a door is an opening into another area. Going through a door signifies entering or exiting a room or space. It is an act of “going through.” And of course going through a door means you’ve crossed a threshold.Thresholds are very symbolic. Take for example the tradition of “carrying the bride over the threshold,” this last act of the marriage ceremony symbolizes the bride and groom entering their new life together as a couple. The groom, provided he is strong enough, carries the bride through the door. I assume that the groom having to do this symbolizes his having to “carry” (spelt support) the wife throughout their life as a couple. And yes, I agree, that is a very old fashioned chauvinistic way to read it. But considering the amount of time that this custom has been around, I think it is an accurate reading.

In life we are always going over thresholds. Everyday we come to doors and have to make the choice to enter or leave. I am of course talking about metaphysical doors here and not real doors. But I think that these metaphysical doors are more important and life changing than real doors. Don’t get me wrong, going in or out of real doors can be life changing. I am just choosing to talk about the “unreal” doors for the moment.

This talk of entering and exiting doors really equates to the thresholds we encounter everyday in our lives. Crossing these thresholds can result in life changing events. Other times the threshold has no consequence to our lives or our destiny, so we can cross with impunity. Often we cross thresholds, never knowing that we have done so. It is only with the advent of “hind sight” that we can clearly see where we have changed our future.

And sometimes, even with this 20-20 hind sight, we never see the threshold that has altered our perceived future.

Doors come in the guise of many things. New job opportunities, accidents, injuries, marriage, divorce, and of course death.  Some of the doors and their thresholds are allegorical and metaphysical, for example the custom referenced above of the bride and groom. Others are very real like your own front door.

My grandfather used to say that you never knew what was going to happen to you when you went out of your own front door. “You can get run down by a damned bus going to collect your mail!” I think he was right. I think that even if we know where and when these doors are meant to be opened, or conversely closed, we don’t know what the end result will be. When we cross these thresholds our life’s path is still  uncertain.

I think that is how it should be.

If we all knew where we were going to end up, would we still make the trip? I believe that knowing our end destination would spoil our journey and a lot of folks would not even bother to start it. And like Pepe LePew says, “Getting there is half the fun!”