Oh the Weather Outside is Frightful…Not

How my garden should look right now...
How my garden should look right now…

Usually this time of year, we have cold and wet. If not in the form of snow and sleet the wet usually shows up in the form of rain. So okay, it’s a bit “drizzly” outside and the ground is a bit soggy; but…

Temperature wise it’s about a few degrees short of tropical.

In England??

At Christmas??

It is not just today’s temperature that is pushing the mercury up either. It’s been like this for the past week.

How my garden really looks...
How my garden really looks…

*Oh and in case you were interested it’s just reached 52 degrees Fahrenheit outside in “real” temperature or 11 degrees Celsius in pretend temperature.*

Hell, if it weren’t for the fact that I’m on blood thinners, I’d be wearing shorts, flip-flops and a Hawaiian shirt outside on my Metro Health Marches. Granted that at 52 it is about 4 or 5 degrees cooler than it has been for the last few days.

I know that you are all nodding sagely and murmuring about Global Warming, but, is that really what is going on? Am I the only one who thinks that maybe…just maybe, this is linked to the Mayan’s somehow? Was their real message about the climate change that we are experiencing? Perhaps those scholars missed the odd carving in the calendar and did not realise that 21/12/2012 was actually the date that the world’s average temperature was going to start rising.

Seriously though, this is a little bit freaky. I don’t remember southern California being this warm at Christmas!

Sure we had a few days of “overnight” snow that was gone by about 10 in the morning, but it has been steadily getting warmer. It’s actually kind of annoying. Just when I’ve decided that half of the world’s scientific community were talking through their…hats about global warming and the greenhouse effect, the weather starts acting all…global warming-ly.

I’ve got flowers budding on the anaemic bush in my front garden, which I am pretty sure, should only be budding in spring. But then you could take everything I know about plants and put in a match-box and still have room for an over abundance of matches. Mr Green Fingers I am not.

My "out-of-season" flowers...
My “out-of-season” flowers…

It is unusual to see so many folks not bundled up like they are going for a walk in Siberia. Of course all the “older” folks are still bundled up; they are most likely on similar blood thinning medication to myself, not to mention the fact that “older” circulation leaves a lot to be desired. So the OAP’s are still “feeling” the cold but no-one else appears to be suffering.

Does this mean that age old tradition of giving sweaters that could keep an entire third world country warm will no longer be a standard Christmas present? The same with gloves and Mukluks and Parkas will they become presents of the past? Will scratchy uncomfortable woollen clothing items that have been the nemesis of unhappy children everywhere no longer exist?

Perhaps this is what the Mayan’s were warning us about. With their advanced calendar skills, they must have foreseen that from the 21st of December 2012 on, that cold weather was going to be a thing of the past. The world was not ending just excessively cold weather!

Wow! What an epiphany! I just need to put together a thesis and present it to some governmental agency with more money than sense and get a funded research project going. Of course the first thing I’d need would be tickets to Mexico and accommodation for the extended period of time I’ll need to prove my thesis. I will be able to save some money on the project.

After all, how much can shorts, flip-flops, Hawaiian shirts and sunscreen really cost?

Of course I will also need an all important Sombrero to keep the sun out of my eyes… Adiós Amigos!

Author: Michael Knox-Smith

Former Actor, Former Writer, Former Journalist, USAF Veteran, Former Member Nevada Film Critics Society (As Michael Smith)

12 thoughts on “Oh the Weather Outside is Frightful…Not”

  1. Portland, OR is the land of never-ending rain. On the bright side the grass, moss & ferns are always green. It was a perfect day to hibernate since todays rain was at 39 degrees. Yuk! – Bob

  2. I wouldn’t worry too much. Climates have changed since before man was a twinkle in the dinosaurs’ eyes. What astounds me is how people think nice warm weather is possibly a bad thing. I like wearing shorts, certainly a whole lot more than freezing my buns off while clearing the ice from my windshield. I say take advantage of this before the next Ice Age hits.

  3. What’s weird is that it’s the same here in New England. Most days have been warm enough for at most a sweatshirt and you see a lot of hardy folks in shirtsleeves and yes, shorts. Christmas Eve is top down day for the convertible set. Last year was the same, but the year before that, we were buried to our hairlines in snow that never melted until late spring. Go figure. Meanshile, 250 miles south in New York, it’s bitterly cold. No snow yet (though they are buried in the midwest) but seriously cold. Around here, it’s almost embarrassing. It’s colder in California than in the Blackstone Valley.

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