Entertainment, Films, Books, Television…My Life, a little…

Christmas Time; Memories and Time…


Not quite Norman Rockwell, but pretty damn impressive from google images…

Despite the fact that I cannot stand Cliff Richard’s Christmas song (the one that goes Christmas time; Mistletoe and Wine, Children sing in Christian rhyme…I don’t know what comes after that as I always change the channel after the rhyme part) it made a great title pop into my head for this “seasonal post.”

When Christmas time rolls around each year I feel a myriad of emotions. *you would not believe how hard that previous sentence was to write, either because of the subject or the fact that it is O-dark thirty in the morning*

The child part of my mind remembers excited mornings of rushing to see what Santa had left under the tree and getting dressed up in our best Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes and gathering up more presents for cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents and heading to the first of two “family” Christmas meals.

Time marches on and new memories grew and died. My first family, wife and son, spent only one Christmas together and as life progressed my feelings at Christmas were always wistful and sad.

My second family, wife and daughter, made up for the missed years in my previous family. Christmas consisted of spending time with my extended family (the in-laws) and doing Christmas tapes for the grandparents who could not spend time with their granddaughter on the big day.

As time continued to move ever forward, these Christmas “traditions” also changed, but, deep at the heart of each year’s celebration was the feeling of loss and sadness. I could never quite put my finger on why I felt either of these emotions on a day that celebrations are due.

My third family, me and my daughter, spent our first Christmas together in a shell shocked frenzy of putting up a tree and decorating my new flat; our second Christmas together, we did a video for our channels on YouTube (and got a better tree and more decorations). This year time has stepped in, again, and we’re only now putting up the tree and decorations.

vlog

Meg’s and my Christmas message last year from YouTube

I think that due to everything that has happened this year that we are in the “shell shocked” stage again. Not necessarily because of the events themselves, but, because of the amount of events and their “life changing” qualities.

In addition to my untimely “Get-out-of-life-free” card that I drew from the community chest of life (that luckily I did not have to use), I finally figured out why I’d felt so sad and lost at Christmas. My inner child was crying out for times and memories past to re-play each year. He wasn’t satisfied with how each “new” Christmas was going. He wanted the old days, the youth, excitement, family and love that filled whichever house he was living in at the time.

These memories were replaced, for a while, when he got to film his daughter’s excitement of Christmas and the opening of Santa’s presents that was always over too soon.

As the inner child in me has gotten smaller with time, the innocent joy of Christmas has been replaced with a longing for “how it used to be.” Somewhere along the way, I’ve forgotten the joy that comes about from just thinking of Christmas and all it means. Not the commercial aspects, although I’ve not been able to afford to buy anyone presents for the last two years, nor the religious meanings; but, just the general “feel good” factor of the holiday.

That “peace on earth, goodwill to men” thing that makes everything seem a little bit better and brighter, had taken a hike. It was on holiday (aka vacation) and wasn’t coming back anytime soon.

Last night, Meg and I went out to purchase our Christmas meal makings. As we left our little metro, the huge security chap wished us both a happy Christmas, and something in me shifted. I’m not talking about a “Grinch-like” heart operation here, but it does have to do with the heart I suppose.

I realised, finally, that I was damned lucky to be here for Christmas. That despite the overall “bad” news about work and money and health, I was still here and that (God willing) I would be here on Christmas morning. In that split second of sending the security man’s Christmas wishes back to him, I changed how I saw the holiday.

Now the memories of all my childhood Santa celebrations with my huge family have a nostalgic sweetness that has been missing. I cannot change the other memories of Christmas past but, like Scrooge, I have my Christmas present and future to look forward to. I guess you could say that my memories have taken a turn for the better and just in time.

To all my friends and neighbours, from a “by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin survivor,” I wish you a Happy Christmas and a wonderful New Year.

Paying Up

Christmas last year.

Tagged as: , , , , , , , , , , ,

Categorised in: Autobiography, Entertainment, Personal, Philosophical, Reflective, Social

9 Responses »

  1. Not quite Sam Rockwell? The actor? Mike, don’t you mean Norman Rockwell? Merry Christmas!!!

    Like

  2. The vlog last year was awesome! Merry Christmas Mike!

    Like

  3. Merry Christmas, Mike. I saw the video too and enjoyed it a lot.

    Like

Trackbacks

  1. Weekly Image Of Life: On Christmas Day | this man's journey

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Goodreads

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 13,015 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 160,934 hits

Liebster Award

Liebster Award

The Versatile Blogger Award

The Versatile Blogger Award

Inspiring Blogger Award

Inspiring Blogger Award

Super Sweet Blogging Award

Super Sweet Blogging Award

WordAds

High quality ads for WordPress

The Random Ramblings of Laiyla Lane

The Random Ramblings Of An Ex British Army, Bipolar, Tattooed Welsh Girl đź’‹

what about the twinkie?

An opinionated idiots views on the world of film.

Box Office Buzz

Entertainment news

Pure Fine Art photography blog

The award winning artworks gallery experience

THE WAYFARER'S NOTES

BEN GONZALES' BLOG

instantreviewalert

What's Worth It and What's Not !

Marvel-Movie-Maniac

Latest facts, news, predicaments for every super Marvel movie nerd. Are you nerd enough?

Human Relationships

Human Relationships, Marriage Relationships, Children/Parents Relationships, Work Relationships, Friendships, Love, Abuse, Addiction, Support.

pieces of me

Memoirs of a Past Life Tourist

~ L to the Aura ~

sustainability. compassion. inspiration.

The Sister Abigail Show

Activist, Author, Nutritional Consultant, Raw Food Chef

Charlottesweb

Sherlock, Star Trek Fan Fiction. Original Stories Too

Storiform.com

Writing Popular Fiction

Cornelius' Life Story

This blog is about me, growing up in Africa and now in The states pursuing a degree.

MovieScience101

Everything you need to know about science in movies

lionaroundwriting

Let us make an exchange - I provide stories, you enjoy them.

Espen Stenersrød- From Pen To Heart

Jack Kerouac with a scent of Henry Vaughn

GENRE LOVE

Homepage of SF Writer, Tonya R. Moore

Ludica

A storyteller.

Benedict Cumberbatch

Celebrating Benedict Cumberbatch, his work and his fandom.

pgcps mess - Reform Sasscer without delay.

Fight corruption in PGCPS. Innovate, Change and Transform - Create Transparency and Accountability Initiative.

Vonj productions

Inspiration received and put forth for the good of the people

LeonnaDenisa

Hakunamatata (^o^)/

Caustic Synergy

United and alone in the world

Pulsar Passages

What you see here is "come what may".

meganelizabethmorales

I left my heart in Middle-Earth...

Paul Laight

Writer. Filmmaker. Semi-Pro Comedian. Wageslave

C A M S H I E

Witness The Truth: Spot Your Greatness

COURAGE TIMES THREE

A fine WordPress.com site

All Food Cooking Recipes

The Original European Cooking Recipes. All Cooking Recipes. All Continental Recipes. All Mexican Recipes. Italian Recipes.

FY HI!

A particular remarkable and usually surprising bit of information

Words n' Clouds

News told by words, news shown in clouds

Abby Mabb

Snarly female. Occasional book reviewer.

Dream, Play, Write!

Today, make a commitment to your writing.

Indie Hero

Brian Marggraf, Author of Dream Brother: A Novel, Independent publishing advocate, New York City dweller

behindtheglamorsblog

This World Is Not Perfect Like You Still Imagine

Craig Lumen

Characters

Travel Magazine New Zealnd

For the Love of travel is New Zealand’s premium Travel Magazine

Ventaforce

Network Engineering Software By Sankalp

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 13,015 other followers

%d bloggers like this: