Of Foetuses and Fantasy

I know I said that I wouldn’t write any more about my event on the 30th of August this year, but, I did leave myself  the ‘out’ of tacking the word maybe on the end of the declaration.

Just as well.

I sort of felt when I was released from the hospital last Tuesday. that the silver lining to this whole event was that I’d have more time for writing. Well, yes and no. I do have more time per se, but I haven’t got the energy to partake in much of anything other than recovering.

Everything is exhausting. I had an hour long social visit three days ago and I’ve only just recovered. And when I say an ‘hour long social visit’ I am not talking about engaging in a chatty bout of badminton. We just sat in chairs drank tea and coffee (that I made) and when I started looking tired, my guest left.

The vast majority of my activity since that day has been sleeping and forcing myself to shuffle from one room to another or going up and down the stairs. I felt incredibly tired and achy.

Today, I ran myself a lovely warm bath with just a ‘touch’ of bath lotion. As I slipped clumsily into the warm soothing water, I felt like the world’s oldest foetus re-entering the soothing placental world of everyone’s birth.

Once I got my self settled, I engaged in the sort of ‘dozing’ relaxation that allows our minds to freely roam over many sundry thoughts and yet not so sleepy as to nod off and drown.

One sentence pushed itself to the fore of my thoughts, “We can make him better. We have the technology.” This immediately knocked me giggling out of my internal reverie.

The Six Million Dollar Man was standard TV fare for the 1970’s and everyone I knew ‘back in the day’ could recite the show’s opening verbatim and then go on to make the noises that used to indicate that he was using one of his ‘super’ powers. I had a lovely bit of fantasy going where I could hear the ‘super-power’ noises going on in the background as I walked down the path or trotted up and down the stairs.

The Six Million Dollar Man
The Six Million Dollar Man (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This fantasy didn’t last long. Just long enough, in fact, to make me think of the information I’d gleaned by ‘Goggling’ heart operations and stents. This type of heart surgery is known as the ‘lunchtime operation.’ You can literally get a couple of stents put in, get sewed back up and be back at work before they’ve noticed you were gone.

Pretty amazing. Our technology has grown in leaps and bounds and I think even Steve Austin would be pretty impressed by this information.

Of course in my case, it was very similar to doing massive redecoration in an old building. Sort of like going into an older building and  deciding  to remove a wall or reposition a door. It is almost inevitable that once you’ve moved the wall or door, you find something out that suddenly needs to be fixed. In my case, they found a couple of things.

This turned my simple ‘lunch-time‘ surgery into a completely different kettle of fish and thus increased my recovery time.  But, ‘hey-ho’ such are the vagaries of life. 2012 has been an odd year for me and my little family.

I got injured in February which necessitated a lot physio and exercise and time off. It took me ages to realise that I could use this time to write more. *I will freely admit that sometimes I am not the quickest chap off the mark.*

Just as it looked like I was going around the corner to full recovery… bam! The next phase in my life of ‘interesting times.’ I cannot grumble though.

I have through my blog, met some lovely people, interesting people and the odd ‘famous’ person. I have discovered that I can still write. In fact somewhat better than I have any right to be. (sorry for the pun, I could not resist) I have found that there are people out there who share a similar love for movies and books and the creative process.

I have also found a lot of folks who are going through the same journey that I am going through. No, not the heart attack health issue, although quite a few folks have been there in one way or another. I’m talking about the journey of re-discovering themselves and where they might be heading with this newly acquired knowledge.

I would write much more about the event itself and probably will. When you spend a lot of time resting you can also spend the same time reflecting. I have done a lot of both.

It is something, I think, that I must have to do. Writing reviews, at the moment, makes me feel like I am climbing Mt Kilimanjaro in a party of one. Yet when I sat down in front of my battered laptop to write this post, my fingers moved like lightening and I could not get the words down quick enough.

Still I am not fussy. Writing is writing after all. As long as I can still do it, I will.

So until next time we meet, to quote Hunger Games, “May the odds ever be in your favour.”

English: Mt Kilimanjaro.
English: Mt Kilimanjaro. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Author: Michael Knox-Smith

World traveler, writer, actor, journalist. Cinephile who reviews films, television, books and interviews professionals in the industry. Member Nevada Film Critics Society

8 thoughts on “Of Foetuses and Fantasy”

  1. Yeah, Mike, I don’t think anyone’s worried about you taking some time off from reviews, or about you talking about something as major as your heart attack. It only just happened two weeks ago, and it was something that could have ultimately ended a lot worse, if we’re being honest. Who wouldn’t be constantly thinking about it? I feel like I remember reading somewhere that Stephen King nearly died some time ago, before he completed The Dark Tower series. After his brush with death, he did nothing but reflect, soul-search, and ultimately, get to work on finishing his magnum-opus. So don’t sweat it, man! 🙂 If you want something to read, that I only just discovered myself, check out the Earthsea books by Ursula K. Le Guin. They’re fantasy, and sound at face-value like typical fare for that genre, but they’re really amazing, came out in the late 60s I believe, and not at all what you’d normally associate with fantasy. They’re really powerful stories, reflective of life’s battles; both victories and defeats. More like allegories really. They’re also quite short, so anyone should be able to burn through them quickly, assuming reading doesn’t wear you out too much. Regardless, I highly recommend them at some point. Le Guin is excellent, and really an inspiration to myself. Anyway, sorry to ramble. As always, good luck with your battle, and get well soon! (100 points for the awesome Million Dollar Man reference, by the way.)

  2. Love this, Mike. Also did anyone ever tell you to stop posting about The Crazy Heart Caper? If they did please allow me to enter a late plea that you not listen to them. This is some incredibly engaging stuff. :>

    1. No, no-one said that, I just don’t want to do it to death (pun intended). It does seem though that I’ve still got a lot of things to write about it. Glad to hear you enjoy it! 😀

  3. At one time, I worked on the same floor as the Cardiac Rehab unit. Seeing the outpatient come through, day after day gave you perspective. Not necessarily a true understanding of what they’ve gone through, but I’d start to realize the effects. The fatigue you’re going through is entirely normal. The system has taken a big hit. It does get better. Just takes the malleable commodity of ‘time’.


  4. As the survivor of more surgery than I can remember: it really does get easier. Time passes. One day, you discover you feel much more like the “you” you were than you thought possible. It sneaks up on you. Writing is a boon when you are limited. Pity those who don’t have an equivalent outlet.

    As Bill Belichick says: (Life) It is what it is. Take this time as a great gift, even if all you can do is think. When else will you have time for thinking without doing? It may never happen again once your life returns to busyness.