Life through my myopic eyes.

Door to Door Spam


no spam!

no spam! (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

On the days that I am not ‘returning to work’ I usually write or research articles (mainly Wikipedia) or read other blogs. This is on top of performing the many mundane tasks which face a single man who lives with his daughter. The list of mundane tasks include the daily maintenance required to keep your house and home from resembling a rubbish tip. It also includes the necessary task of preparing food so that the two members of this household don’t wind up resembling survivors from a death march.

Of course some of these tasks don’t fall into the daily category. They come under the heading of ‘weekly chores’ that must be done for the outside areas of the house. Cutting the grass, trimming the edges of the lawn and the hedges. Picking up the rubbish that has been deposited by the many urchins who play around the neighbourhood.

One of the things I do that is not particularly part of any task list or category is removing the ‘built up’ spam from my blog. Askimet does a lovely job of rounding up all the spam contributions to my posts and then puts them in one spot for me to eliminate with extreme prejudice. I do like to stop and read the spam ‘comments.’ They are always worth a chuckle or two. Written with the use of a universal translator or by a preoccupied six year old, the mangled metaphors and garbled English never fail to amuse.

The other thing I do is  eliminate the built up spam from in front of my door. Every day a multitude of physical spam comes through my letter box. Leaflets, sales notifications, menus from new restaurants, local newspapers, political news, offers to sell my (rented) home, and job offers to deliver all the aforementioned items.

I get so much spam through my letterbox, that if I left it untouched for just one day, it would resemble a paper and cardboard model of the Himalayas. I have been in my kitchen or the downstairs smallest reading room and heard the muffled march of  footsteps treading past the front of my house. These footsteps pause for the smallest of pauses and deposit more spam through my letterbox before marching on to the next house.

I envision a row of spam depositors queuing up outside my house in an orderly and patient fashion. Each waiting to deposit their messages of sales, food and employment through my door’s letterbox.    I also envision the same ‘spammers’ fighting each other over each street of houses as to who will be the first to drop off their paper mountains of spam.

I can imagine scores of people from all walks of life patrolling the neighbourhood with their little pull-along trolleys full of leaflets. Criss-crossing one another and exchanging pleasantries as they pass. Pausing to apply more sunscreen in the summer months and stomping their feet and blowing on frozen fingers in the winter ones.

I have noticed that out of all the ‘spam’ that I collect from the front of my hallway, one particular leaflet appears regularly. It is an employment opportunity that pays pretty well for a part-time job.

300 to 400 pounds per month for delivering leaflets door to door. If I ever get lonely I’ll have to give it a go. After all there certainly seems to be a lot of them out there.

Tagged as: , , , , , , , , , ,

Categorised in: Autobiography, Funny, Personal, Reflective, Social

4 Responses »

  1. Funnily enough I just replied to you on my site about your comments being classed as spam on there?! Strange, so I apologise again and as you mentioned in your post here its worth checking in there and see what they have caught. I get a lot of compliments from spam, I might just post them :)

  2. Hey! Thanks for the mention! Argh! Spam stinks . . .

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Goodreads

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 12,879 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 134,998 hits

Liebster Award

Liebster Award

The Versatile Blogger Award

The Versatile Blogger Award

Inspiring Blogger Award

Inspiring Blogger Award

Super Sweet Blogging Award

Super Sweet Blogging Award

lionaroundwriting

Let us make an exchange - I provide stories, you enjoy them.

Espen Stenersrød- From Pen To Heart

Jack Kerouac with a scent of Henry Vaughn

Tonya R. Moore

Bending Genres & Learning to Love Life

Journelle Frivolous

a storyteller & impolite lady

Benedict Cumberbatch

Blog for Benedict Cumberbatch fans

pgcps mess - Reform Sasscer without delay.

Fight corruption in PGCPS. Innovate, Change and Transform - Create Transparency and Accountability Initiative.

Vonj productions

Inspiration received and put forth for the good of the people

LeonnaDenisa

Hakunamatata (^o^)/

Confessions Of A Hollywood Nobody

A journey along the path most traveled.

Pulsar Passages

What you see here is "come what may".

meganelizabethmorales

You're insane? We're all insane! Bwahahahaha!

Paul Laight

Writer. Filmmaker. Semi-Pro Comedian. Wageslave

C A M S H I E

Witness The Truth: Spot Your Greatness

Prowler Needs a Jump

Films of every stripe

COURAGE TIMES THREE

A fine WordPress.com site

All Food Cooking Recipes

The Original European Cooking Recipes. All Cooking Recipes. All Continental Recipes. All Mexican Recipes. Italian Recipes.

FY HI!

A particular remarkable and usually surprising bit of information

Words n' Clouds

News told by words, news shown in clouds

Abby Mabb

Snarly female. Occasional book reviewer.

Dream, Play, Write!

Live the writing life you've imagined.

Indie Hero

Brian Marggraf, Author of Dream Brother: A Novel, Independent publishing advocate, New York City dweller

behindtheglamorsblog

This World Is Not Perfect Like You Still Imagine

Craig Lumen

Characters

Travel Magazine New Zealnd

For the Love of travel is New Zealand’s premium Travel Magazine

MLM BLASTER

Network Marketing Engineering Powered By Sankalpcs

Indo Africa Times

Reed to succeed in Africa !!!

Subterranean Cinema - Redux

the return of Don Alex

storyofthekitchn

FOOD & DRINK

Its me...pleasure!

This WordPress.com site is the bee's knees

Eat Diamonds for Breakfast

and shine all day.

YONA PHOT©

Street photography, Travel Photography, Exploration Photography

Top of the Bottom Pile

My favorite part of the bottom is the top.

RyanOnFire.com

Speaking my sports mind at an incredible rate.

Healthcare Professional Development Institute - HCPDI

Online Healthcare Training| Continuing Professional Education (CPD)| Self-paced| Open & Instant Enrollment| Certificates of Completion| Professional Certificates| Study Now|

环游K场

纵贯音乐大世界 K-Xpress

Celia Fitzgerald

"As every thread of gold is valuable, so is every moment in time." - John Mason

Closer to the Edge

"Drama is life with the dull bits cut out" Alfred Hitchcock

The Blonde on Movies

"Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theater." ~Roman Polanski

Tony Beig

Tony Beig - Promotional Clothing 2015

Kevin Taggart

Various excerpts From My Books, Blogs, 55 Worders and other interesting bits and bobs!

Despair to Deliverance

A True Story of Triumph Over Severe Mental Illness and How You Can Triumph Too

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 12,879 other followers

%d bloggers like this: